I-n-t-e-r-l-i-n-k (my first Rap,,, thanks for the Tech Advice guys... and to BigJon for rap advice) with lyrics - any pointers?

A long time ago…. Once there was a you and a’ I
and neither of us knew each other…
now it’s nearly 11 years later and you’ve taken me to the moon,
so, I’m gonna spit this rap for ya

wanna do all I can to heal ya,
from the waste of space that we both occupied
that we would have returned to had I said goodbye,
but then I saw you as I see you all the time,
I see your face in the mirror, where there should be mine

an’ at the end, I see you. I see you and I
and fighting emoji’s when I close my eyes
and all that noise the poltergheists ran away,
and where there ain’t no shame we found a place to stay

you threw me over your shoulder,
and no one could have told yer
or Me for that matter
how much useless crap we threw in the wind that day?
For real
Healed up with a kiss and a bunch of confetti…
caught up in tradition like our gorgeous Queen Betty…

and yet we fit int’ our roles like gloves
With all the soul that any two people could’ve.
Spinning around like a tin can on the road.
Twisting and turning Twisting and turning
twisting and turning… it’s not for sale but it’s sold

An’ I see the sun and it’s only the sun an’ t’s burning
and it’s everywhere and it’s us
And all I can see or breathe or feel or do or say or speak or think
its light and there’s light all around
Light flowing everywhere, light in the sound

But there ain’t nothing in my chest but time,
Its cogs and its wheels – existential sigh
Showing us the world that we kind of live by
Good giving evil the sounds I let fly

This is the time to put an end to that game.
No-one knows, no, no, no - you can’t save me
A long story, broken clock on the mantle,
Aiming for love not self-inflicted dismantle

Already the lines, already the frowns
that all will still be with us when the time comes around.
Facing forever after - if you fall I will catch ya
your love reflected - coming right back at ya

And there’s no way I‘d ever leave yer
because you complete meh
the thought of living without you
Feel like I’d just die
Away from you – no one could make me fly
The where, the which, what, the who, how, where and the why

I’ll take you to bed, I’ll take you out for a meal
Watch sunsets with you, close my eyes and just feel
Every time I breathe every time that I think
No point in anything else, just… forever…
Interlink…

Merry Christmas my love

(it’s for Christmas. I want to record it in a studio for him, so hope it will just keep getting better with the annunciation)

I also want to go to a recording studio to get better sound…

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Nice but it aint a rap…do some free styler…yo yo yeah…try in next time…
Paging @Jonnybegood

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It so is a rap!
!!!

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You need a good adlib, like eminem guess whos back. And many other repeated intro lines of course.

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Try to ryme …u are only talking like speaking in the song try to ryme…

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There is tons of rhyme

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I don’t know all the terms - can you please spell that out for me?
Also - do any of the verses work as a chorus/ repeated bit / do you think? And should I drop any verses from it altogether?

I agree that there are plenty of rhymes. I’m thinking that it’s more a matter of practicing the delivery and, as you said, the enunciation.

I think it’s very special that you created this for your husband.

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A concise phrase used to initiate the song and get people fired up. Like tupac thug life or biggie smalls baby baby. It’s something of a calling card. It can be a sound effect or onomatopoeia, it can be the name of your gang or your location “east side”. It can be an inside joke between you and whoever the song is adressed to. Doesn’t have to be an acronym for example dmx used to bark and growl for some reason.

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Wiz khalifa giggles characteristically at the neginning of his songs and shouts out taylor gang, (i think his record label or some other group). Fetty wap says 1738 squaw and remy boys. Chief keef says 3hunna. Lil uzi vert says yah alot.

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Kind of like how the ramones had their characteristic 1234!

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That’s a great idea x

I’ll have a think and listen

Has to be short…, my intro verse was meant to be like the start off section you mean but hasn’t come across

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You should higher the volume of the beat… It was dope. Hahahahahahah. Really you expected that but it really was dope.

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Background music is dope…

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So you can’t hear me lol

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Free on YouTube x

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Appriciated ur effort…take care…!!!

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Was it written by a ghostwriter? Maybe your brother?

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Free on YouTube X

Means…what dat refers to …

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