I moan to myself about really vague feeling of physical ill health

Really really vague feelings. They are pretty constant.

In spite of this I never get off my ass and speak to a doctor about it.

I think I have a perverse desire to feel miserable!

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Reminds me of a Dostoyevsky character.

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“suffering is necessary, and even
enjoyable, because it increases consciousness and confirms free will.”

This is me 100%

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