I would have been so great but I missed my chance in life. I gave up on life at fourteen because of family arguments. Funny thing is my siblings today don’t even remember how much we fought, it was constant. I was a fragile child, who had a rough exterior I got from my tough friends. I got back up from lying down for death only to give up again and again and again. I never had a education, a wife, car, house, friends, or even a driver’s licence. I do have dental insurance, lol. Most recent of my really dumb mistakes is treating my only friend badly. He had just befriended me and he had a huge network of mentally ill friends who I would have access to. So he dropped me. I am not formally educated but I have done a lot of seeking and found in the end what I need to do is just clean my apartment, get out for a walk, cook my meals, etc. I won’t have a hard life, but I won’t have any life if I don’t do these simple things. Any other knowledge I have is useless. I have a dream of being a famous artist- musician and painter and writer. My dreams are not entirely self centered. I am getting on in years and I realize I will actually die one day and I better use my time wisely…
That’s a good attitude…
one thing I learned and read a long time ago about writing a book…“if you don’t write some every day it will whip you quicker than boo”…try to write at least fifteen mins. a day and you can write a lengthy book in a year, especially two years…
I can relate to this, very much. I was more sensitive than others, I envied their toughness and simplicity for a lack of a better word. Nothing seemed to phase them, and I wished I could be more like them so things didn’t bother me so much
Growing up in the low rentals, we all saw a lot of ■■■■ kids shouldn’t see
What is freedom anyway? I once thought of ceasing listening to rock and roll because I liked classical music. My voices encouraged me to not quit listening to rock and roll. My voices are so cruel and I still have some affection for them. They really have helped me progress in life. But they have hurt me terribly too. And they prevented me from my greatest love: natural history. I don’t want to be a square( I’m not referring to scientific academia ), my voices were always anti religious. Maybe I’ll be normal without them and free form complex, closed systems of thought and be a naturalist!
Like most of us
Your not alone.
Hey I ■■■■■■ up on this schizophrenia crap too! But hey there has to be a better life! Don’t give up! We have each other here that’s been through relatable stuff man 
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.