I miss my voices

My sz usually comes and goes in about a month. In four out of five May/June since 2010, I hear voices. It doesn’t really bother me when the voices come to me. I naturally believe in everything. After around a month, the whole thing becomes doubtful to me. It gives me a hard time to see the voices as voices only. I dont know if it is loneliness that makes me really want them to be real. I’m in lack of relationship in my real life. Those important persons to me chose to leave me after my onset. My voices are kind to me. If they are real and it is just fine we can get together, it would be very nice for me.

If they are not spiritual in nature, what could they be? Anyone please show me some light. They have stable personalities and independent thinking. I have got to know them for five years.

[quote=“goggles, post:1, topic:32903, full:true”]
If they are not spiritual in nature, what could they be? Anyone please show me some light. They have stable personalities and independent thinking. I have got to know them for five years.[/quote]Exactly. My psychotherapist asked me if I believed the voices to be real, and he figured I didn’t but I DO.

The hard problem with my consciousness is that I mainly see them, I don’t hear them. It’s sort of like a silent movie. I don’t know what they can or cannot hear, but the majority are nice to me. It seems we’re all undergoing some manner of “purgatory” together and are strengthening each other through dark times.

I don’t know what else to say, other than I think I am half-way in & out of purgatory with these folks. If I actually meet these people in real life, I don’t know what I’d do. They greatly respect me and have been so kind, for the most part, throughout my three years with SZ.