I miss my friends and my gifts

I’m medicated. I have to have an invega injection every month. Then there’s abilify. I struggle to believe I’m a schizophrenic. I really have a hard time with this. I feel like the blessed One.
I miss the company I used to keep. My friends.
The reason I’m medicated is because I was hospitalized for 14 weeks. Sometimes there’s evil and I would have to write words on the walls and mirrors.


Totally feel you, I was forcibly hospitalised twice this year for three weeks each time and only released on a CTO where I have to be injected monthly. I don’t know how you managed to handle it for fourteen months, you poor thing.

I do believe that sometimes there can be more this illness than meets the eye, especially as western medicine doesn’t take spirituality into consideration with its practices. I really empathise with how you’re feeling. I feel like the magic has been taken out of my life, sometimes.

So yeah, just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. :slight_smile:

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Hello Cizz . Thank-you for your post It makes me feel better. I got forced onto the depot because I didn’t take my medication. I was paranoid about it and I would feel it poisoning me and my world. I would feel it burning inside of me. So i put them all in a box and dropped it into casualty & left it with a nurse. I had to get them out of the house. They made me feel like a betrayer.Then I would believe myself to be an angel and I would walk into traffic to make them all stop or I would believe myself to be the enchantress Morgana and try to seduce my partner. It didn’t work he refused her. I still have some of my gifts . I can see people on my shower wall. Sometimes they show themselves other times not. If for example I’m having a bad night I will see a demon’s face twisted and contorted in pain. And bees are my messengers. They are sent to me as a sign
Yes I miss my friends. You could put me into an empty room and I wouldn’t be alone. They were good to me and 1 of them is the strongest. He’s my guardian. His name is Terry.

I used to think I had a spirit guide but then he turned evil on me. It was an illness. Not a gift. Though I like to look at the silver lining and learn from it


What happened to your friends? I lost friends as a result of my illness as well, and most crucially custody and even visitation with my kid, who was quite frankly my whole world.

My life feels so empty now.

Hello Butterfly. My guardian has always been good to me and I believe in him. It’s the others who are bad mainly because they urged me to do things or made me paranoid. I don’t miss the dangerous things I used to do or the paranoia. I would get very personal messages from the TV and the internet. I would be convinced everyone hates me like even people who don’t know me.There was a lot of them in my head telling me over and over how much they hate me and I could FEEL their hate. This made me cry for hours.

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Hello Agony. My spirit friends left because of the antipsychotic. It’s like the volume has been turned down to mute. For real life friends - I haven’t got any besides my partner and children. Don’t get me wrong - they are precious to me but it would be nice to have say 1 friend to go out and have a coffee with. Through the weekday I’m alone.

I’m on an order so I must turn up for my depot otherwise child protection can remove my children. That’s what I have been told.
I’m sorry you have lost custody and visitation rights. That’s what I don’t want to happen to me. Your emptiness is totally understandable and I feel for you. It would be a gutted out hollow feeling probably tinged with helplessness.

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I miss my old friends too.

My first love is married, so is my first girlfriend.

My best guy-friend got married recently.

Another one of my guy-friends moved to Alberta to pursue a pilot career.

Things happen, people fall apart.

Hello Mr.Dre. I should have been clearer in my title because I’m talking about my ‘spirit’ friends and not the real world variety. Truth being I have struggled to find real friends through out my life and when I did the contact didn’t last long so I understand what you mean by people falling apart. Things fizzle out, people move on I’m just lucky my partner has stuck around for 17 years.

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