Things are going better, I found a new apartment complex full of young professionals, and I got in the books for when it is finished (it is under construction) to live there for my master’s in counseling. My meds have been changed, and the wellbutrin twice a day with rexulti is really making me feel like I am not being tortured every moment. I am sleeping well, exercising (got a gym membership again), and not just sitting here brooding like I have been for so long.
The wellbutrin augments the rexulti, I have less symptoms today. Lately, I have had about 7 med changes in the last month, so my brain has been through hell, that and the xanax withdrawals from 4mg to 0.25 in three months. I nearly killed myself, it was unimaginable pain, and I was convinced that I had died and gone to hell.
I met with the psychologist today, and the verdict on the team of healthcare provider’s evaluations is that I have met the criteria for every mental disorder, the major ones, and that no one knows what I have or what to call it. Well, that is the point of clinical psychology, to ask what is wrong, while rehab psychology and counseling psychology is about just carrying on and living healthily. I chose the rehab counseling MS because I want to live my life and not agonize over what is wrong. Too late about that accelerated bachelors in clinical psychology. It was a good education.
Well, I might have to hang it up here again, it is off to graduate school with the meds cleared up.
To be clear, I am doing the MS and I will be on track to continue in either rehab psychology or counseling psychology into a PhD, in fact I already contacted both programs, and they said to just do the MS and then to apply- I understand that Summa Cum Laude, Chi Beta Phi, Phi Kappa Phi, and a thesis done (I have done all of this) with an accelerated bachelors in clinical and then also a masters in counseling is extremely competitive, so I did my shopping for a nice place to live, a nice gym to workout in, etc- I am back to normal, and I am here to stay this time. I have not performed as well on Rexulti as I have in my entire life, and the wellbutrin is somehow containing my psychosis better as an adjunct, which my doctors have noticed. I will most likely be off on the path to Dr. Quack, aka Mouse, as soon as this summer is over and school starts back.
Part of the deal with being in healthcare is that I will have to delete this account at some point and leave no traces. It may be sooner than later, so I will have to bid Godspeed and farewell, and since this is Valentine’s day, love for people who are also in the struggle.
