I silently asked myself am i there yet? Is it the time i am about to end it all? With my new self, i can’t get a stable job. I can’t get the help i need. I will have a hard time having to buy meal.
May be you can discuss your problem with someone close to you?
I really want to help but don’t know how.
Keep walking, even if you walk in circles, some day you will find the right path out of it.
In the moments of despair and suffering trying is the hardest, but if you try good things will follow! “I know these truths to be self evident.”
Give yourself plenty of credit for going out there and trying to get jobs. You took risks and put yourself out there and that is amazing. I’ve been in seemingly hopeless shape mentally before but somehow I came out the other side. I’ve felt hopeless, suicidal, stressed, crazy as hell and I felt like giving up countless times. I’ve felt these feelings too many times to count.
Yet, I’m 55 years old and I’ve been at my janitors job for 5 years. My job is certainly not glorious and it does not have much status compared to other jobs out there but it puts gas in the car, it allows me to eat out at resturants occasionally, and it pays some bills.
Everybody, goes through bad times in their lives with no exception… Everybody needs help some time in their life. All I can say for you is to keep helping yourself and doing what’s good for you. I might suggest doing a search online for “relapse prevention”. It might help. I’m certainly not making light of your problems but there might be a few things you can do to help yourself. Might I suggest going to local food banks (food kitchens) in your area to save money on food? Some churches have them.
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