I’m so upset

My husband was talking negatively about my best friend. I made a comment that let him know it upset me. I didn’t yell or swear, and I didn’t call him a name.

But his response was asking me if I want to end our relationship now. I said I didn’t. I was mortified.

He went on to say I haven’t done a certain sexual thing for him in 2 weeks, and that if my mood is bad I must be unhappy with him, And if that’s the case, we should end it now.

It’s not about that. I’m mentally ill. That’s why I had an appointment with my pdoc today. It’s to work on treating my mood.

I have not yelled at him at all while having a foul mood. But I haven’t been as cuddly etc.

I begged him to forgive me. He has since calmed down, but I haven’t. I’m super upset.


I’m not going to enter an opinion because I don’t know the full circumstances of everything and I don’t want to aggravate the situation.

But I am betting based on what you have shared that you are going to get quite a few negative opinions of your husband and perhaps those that say he is controlling and such.


I don’t know what to say. I can think of a bunch of negative and bad things to say but that would not help you. I mean he said it, can he really take it back? I’m not married so there’s a lot I don’t know about marriages and what it takes to make them work. I mean you’re aware of how your situation sounds.


That’s horrible.
Ofcourse it’s upsetting if he talks badly of your best friend.

He could be jealous of her?

I pretty much didn’t do a certain sexual thing in two years with my then boyfriend :joy:he got sex but not oral so to say because i couldn’t do it right for him.
If i can’t get him to enjoy it what’s the point.
My other x enjoyed when we were together but different people like different oral movements.

Two weeks is not long at all.
My other x didn’t have sex with me for four months.
Don’t think he was such a sexual person just.

Doesn’t sound like he is being good to you.

When is the last time he gave you oral pleasure?
Works both ways perhaps.

Did he say why he doesn’t like your friend?
Probably jealous of your love for each other.

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This reminds me of my situation sometimes.

To be upset and afraid and guilty at the same time.

Its like guilt and fear keeps me from being able to be angry.

Not sure if its what you are experiencing.

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She’s very very overweight, and does nothing about it. She also is somehow getting Medicaid, which is only for very poor people, even though she received a very large inheritance when her dad passed away. She lives with her mom and doesn’t pay groceries or rent. We are really struggling but don’t qualify for Medicaid. He resents that.

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Yes. I guess I need to do more to show him I love him. I don’t yell or nag, but I could do more to show him I love him. Love is an action. Since being moody the past couple months, I only clean once a week, and don’t give as many hugs. I need to do more


Hmmm. I’m also need to work on being affectionate.

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Why do you consider her your best friend? You talk badly about her here. Like negative things. Maybe I’m wrong but it sounds like you don’t like her either. So I don’t understand why hubby isn’t allowed to criticize her but you are. I’m not trying to be mean just wonder why he’s not allowed to criticize her too.


I do like her. I just get frustrated with certain things. But I need to evaluate myself and be a better person.


That is manipulative at best,

Abusive at worst.

I know you won’t take my advice, but that man is controlling you and you’d probably be better off on your own.

I suspect there is a lot you don’t tell us and I genuinely am horrified by the things you do.

Please take some time alone to re-evaluate your situation.

I feel like you could really benefit from it.


I’m not defending your hubby but it does sound like a problem with communicating with each other. He doesn’t sound like he’s easy to talk to. That’s not your fault.


This forum is really horrible. When in a misunderstanding, it is suggested to do orals sexual stuff and / or divorce between husband and wife.

I don’t understand what you’re saying @Aku1

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Its better, calm down.

He’s saying the advice people are giving you is bad, such as oral and divorce. But I think everyone makes some strong points. I’d never say you should leave someone. But if you aren’t happy with your marriage you either work on it or part ways. He was probably saying things out of anger. I’ve noticed he does that from before. It’s not okay, and it’s very hurtful but some people lose their ■■■■ when they are mad. He needs to try to work on himself in that regard and maybe you can try not to let it wound you so deeply. I think couples counseling could really help. It helped us.

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he’s being really mean for setting an ultimatum like ending the relationship…that was only to upset you…he knew it would…■■■■■■■. makes me mad.

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I don’t agree with your rough self-assessment, but I just wanted you to know I have found your insights to be very useful to me on many occasions. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

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