I love babies but shouldn't have one so

This is a tad graphic and largely about internal female birth control (IUD). Please do not read if this bothers you.

A little over two years ago, I got a Paraguard IUD since I can’t use hormones (it’s the one that uses copper but no hormones). Recently, an X-ray of an injury in my hip revealed that it was in the wrong place. Then I went in for an ultrasound which confirmed this.

So, Planned Parenthood tried removing it and could not - enough said about that. Then another office did remove it and I nearly passed out when the woman felt the need to illustrate how she had done it. I got a new one last week after four weeks of healing up and yesterday after I made a concerned phone call, the nurse at PP suggested that I come in for a placement check. It hurts when I move, it’s still bleeding after 8 days, etc. I think my body is pushing it out like it tried to push the last one out. Traveling to each appointment takes about 4 hours round-trip, so it’s becoming a real commitment.

I lovingly informed my husband that if this try doesn’t work, I would like him to have a vasectomy. I’ve heard they are simple and virtually painless. Has anyone had any experience with this procedure? Was it easy to get through? We don’t plan to have children, ever, so that’s a non-issue. I just don’t want him having the pain I’ve had, though condoms aren’t a great long-term plan, either.

My dad had a vasectomy. Worked well for him. He got it done in an afternoon. You have to give follow up semen samples to make sure there are no sperm present.

Only drawback is that it is fairly permanent.

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It’s really rare to have any issues with a vasectomy. They’re outpatient and heal quickly.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. How sweet of you to be so sensitive toward your husband while no one seemed to question whether you should have the second IUD. No offense to your husband, it’s the culture we live in that puts all the burden on the woman.
Best of luck!


It sounds like a vasectomy might be a really good idea. Problems with IUDs are rare, but they can be really serious. I’m surprised your doctor even agreed to give you a second one. Usually, if the first one fails, it’s a sign that you shouldn’t try again.


The man has so much going on in his head right now, I’m sure I could lose a limb and he wouldn’t notice. It’s honestly not about lack of consideration, though; he’s just reached his capacity between his two jobs, our nightmare home project, 4-H Lego Club and his crazy wife who isn’t capable of being quiet and cries all the time. I’m sure he has ADD; his sister insists that the whole family does. He reaches a point where nothing new can be considered; he cannot go any further. Up to that point, he was all over the place but not getting much done.

Thanks for your support. I’m feeling pretty overloaded, myself.
I did get my homework done, though. That was unexpected considering how I feel.

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If doctors are going to do risky things, they are usually going to do them with me but they never tell me about it.

Thanks :slight_smile: