i wanna scream now. honestly… i was oppressing all my emotions for all these years. and now, with the zyprexa, i wanna scream… i am so screwed up…i became ugly and hard to be around…i hate, i envy,its not fair… even my sister lives a better life than me. she has two kids, had a lots of lovers, me-nothing, the real zero whatever… its not fair… plus the fact that i have sometimes unbearable headaches
Anna…dear…you have really fall into some deep self pity ( “overly negative attention to yourself”, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-pity), and it makes you create more pain than you actually feel.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up and do something! You can do that.
Don’t wait for forum.
Don’t wait for zyprexa, your mom, friend and whatever.
Tell yourself that you gonna get up tomorrow and do ONE change, just one positive change.
Then next morning, do another one.
And psychotherapy, don’t forget it.
(And you will still have enough time to feel bad for yourself. ; )
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yeah i know sarad. but i spent 15 years isolated and alone, nobody didnt payd attention to me… i am worried cause sometimes its inexplicable what i feel…i just feel dumb emotionally. how to rebuild my emotions? i am goiing out almost everyday besides the fact that i dont wanna wake up in the mornings. ill see my pdoc this week if she is free… just to talk to somebody.
i wanted badly make sex and i made nothing almost for all these years…
With therapy. I’ve done it. It’s possible.
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I just told you.
You cannot do everything at once.
Okay, you lost 15 years.
Now start getting it back, minute for minute
Do one thing at time.
Put the make up.
Go buy yourself some perfume.
Force yourself to smile to your mirror. Etc…
You won’t notice difference immediately.
But I promise you it will come.
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ok. o should remain more kind, i am not a nice person now, sorry for that. tomorrow i go out also, probably it helps…my nerfs are so damaged, i jump in my bed almost in the evenings…
You are very nice person.
Keep us informed about every little good thing you’ll do for yourself.
Okay, Anna?
You are a nice person Anna. You’re a kind person, we know that.
It shows on the way you talk about your worries.
Please, talk to your mom about therapy.
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Anna…
again I relate a lot to you…my brother, just had a conversation with him in the first time in for ever. Has his PHD and a marriage and a son…I lost about as much time as you have. Life isn’t fair…I hate when people say that…but it’s obviously true. I hate it because my life has been so not fair where those around have done at least alright…mostly far better than I ever will.
All I can say, and I said it to someone on facebook who owned up to almost killing himself yesterday morning is…just hang in there. It’s what I’m doing. Just hanging on to whatever I can find within myself to hang on to.
To all who are hurting or struggling…I’m with you. I’m with you.
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Take care that you don’t end up like me - 56 and wondering what I did with all that time. I’m a guy, but I’ve experienced something similar to you in that desperate desire for love, sex, or whatever. When I actually got into a long term relationship it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. I remember one time I was in a bookstore with her and she had gotten “The Joy of Sex” off the shelf, and she was showing me pictures from it. I realized that if I had been a person who could see us I would have been extremely envious. I would have thought I was crazy for not cherishing this dynamite girl, but in reality the situation was kind of flat for me. I had built up the possibility of a intimate relationship so much in my mind that reality couldn’t compete with it. We didn’t have the level of communication I wanted in a relationship. I’m not saying you’ll never be in a satisfactory relationship, but I think you might have blown it out of proportion. Work on things like socializing more, and a relationship will be much more likely.
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yeap nick, i always listen to sarad :smile crimby, i should get out of that envy, i know…keep going you guys, i hope we all be better one day 
baby steps Anna. Just try to be a little more positive every day and seek hope in something that can give you a foundation in happiness. Good luck. I know it’s easier said than done. I was really down and screamed all the time to the nothing of life but I made it back to where I"m at least “o k” with my life. don’t give up.
ok,i am going out already today. for me, with my paranoia, its a big thing… and you think that i can recover my feelings? i am in a choc state almost, like a real psycho…
I try to tell myself “just have fun” when I’m nervous about going out etc. Maybe this will work for you?
ok juke, i think this kind of things are helping me… ill do it
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Hugs Anna 
Sorry your hitting the rough patch. It’s a hard thing to do but don’t focus on other people’s life…
Keep your eye on your own. It’s hard when it seems like everyone else has it better… but thinking like that used to depress me a lot.
Hope you feel better soon… and got for one step at a time.
Make tomorrow better then today and today better then yesterday.
Good luck, I’m rooting for you.