I lived with my bad thoughts for years :(

Ive turned bad. But my paranoia to be bad was strong too. well, its not nice. I had jealousy, anger, maybe even hate. All oppressed in me. I was close to explode before. Guess this is the loneliness of sz… What a hell.
I feel some nicer things in the day now. For a few, but its something at least. Am I a monster to have kept so many dark things in me?
its sad. whatever. The evening here is starting. Ill have my dumbifying again lol :crazy_face: .



am I so alone on this? One of my docs thought that I could be a borderline… idk what I am tbh.
I never heard from my father that he loves me. Never a hug or anything. don’t judge me hard. I have my demons. and to be good is difficult for me sometimes.
Well, 17 years in isolation and now I am savage…


I think you are a great person @Anna1. I really wish you could be happy with whatever you choose to do. You aren’t a monster.


Thank you thebest!!! Lol :kissing_heart:
Ill fight, but i am in pain every evening still.
Hugs to you :grinning:

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