Ive turned bad. But my paranoia to be bad was strong too. well, its not nice. I had jealousy, anger, maybe even hate. All oppressed in me. I was close to explode before. Guess this is the loneliness of sz… What a hell.
I feel some nicer things in the day now. For a few, but its something at least. Am I a monster to have kept so many dark things in me?
its sad. whatever. The evening here is starting. Ill have my dumbifying again lol 
.
Hugs
am I so alone on this? One of my docs thought that I could be a borderline… idk what I am tbh.
I never heard from my father that he loves me. Never a hug or anything. don’t judge me hard. I have my demons. and to be good is difficult for me sometimes.
Well, 17 years in isolation and now I am savage…
I think you are a great person @Anna1. I really wish you could be happy with whatever you choose to do. You aren’t a monster.
Thank you thebest!!! Lol 
Ill fight, but i am in pain every evening still.
Hugs to you 
This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.