I live in a matrix, help

In this virtual game there are hints and symbols that i have to decipher in order to get free… so i have ideas of reference everywhere.
It feels like i am the center of attention. And i dont like it.

I think every hermit got that problem.

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Fortunately the running commentary has decreased… thanks to zyprexa…

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you have to stop meditating.

You think so? 16161u1u

Why? I heard that it raises dopamine levels

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Don’t you feel joy OM?

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I feel joy when i have delusions of grandeur. And i feel alive when i have persecutory delusions. When i have positive symptoms, i have feelings again. Otherwise i have negative symptoms amd apathy

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It is the only joy of my life. Theres no need to stop it.

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but as you mentioned it, it raises your dopamine level and high dopamine level is what constitutes SZ.
it was my experience and it your own choice
you could stop meditation for one week and see the results. maybe it works

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I dont think thats the problem. I take extremely high doses and i am resistant. Maybe zyprexa will work. I dont want to try clozapine. During meditation, when i am alone in perfect stillness, i hear louder voices but then they subside and i am able to go deep in samadhi. I have no other joy anymore. Do you have hobbies you enjoy @moshtaba?

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Never hear a story that someone got killed by someone’s bullstory. I am a joyful person too. I like to laugh and make jokes. But some psychiatrist draw me into there depression, instead of abandon me in the first place. Once you are medicated you are drugfucked. Who pays me for helping a shrink?

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Medication is a necessary evil

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yes. we have a group in telegram which we discuss mysticism and stuffs like that. most of the day I’m in home doing meditation reading Osho. playing with nephews.
life is good

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Life is good indeed. Its a miracle and great wisdom even if it’s maya-illusion.

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Are you still in wonderland?

What do you mean?

You said you live in wonderland (matrix). Can you cope better?

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I dont know. I live in a personal matrix with all beings being fake and soulless

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Very well. You reach nirvana sooner or later. I admire/envy you.

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