I’m not even kidding. I wish I was. But I was looking for tips to deal with others at the holidays when around family. But it was mostly directed at dealing with adults. I was looking for tips on how to handle my anxiety around the kid that’s going to be there. Nothing useful came up. That’s when I found my word of the day.
I think it’s a big part of my social anxiety. Granted it’s like a phobia “lite” because I can be around children and I don’t hate children (I will say I never want my own), it just gives me LOTS of anxiety. Like at work, I’m totally professional and friendly towards children but I have to prepare what I’m going to say like a script, before I can even say hello. I say the same few things every time. It’s legit a script I have in my head.
But children are unpredictable and that just makes my anxiety worse because they often go off script.
Any tips for being less anxious around children during the holidays? Or less socially anxious in general?
That’s their job. They are people in training and they learn by making mistakes like most of the rest of us. You tend to make a lot more when you’re younger. Smile and nod and then say, “let’s go find ____ to give you a hand with that, hon.” A problem passed off is a problem handled.
That’s solid advice. I never know what to say in real time conversations but this is a good line to remember. And it doesn’t require me to match the child’s energy if my socially battery is dead. Just an easy way to shift the child’s attention off me in a kind, respectful way. Thank you.
My dog doesn’t like kids either. She always ducks her head and puts her ears down. Come to think of it, i don’t much like them either…they’re too unpredictable.
I visited my loved one today who was one of the people who raised me but didn’t stay because her grandson was there.
I want nothing to do with “sister” and her children and family or any if their identities.
I avoid people because of how I’ve been treated.
That includes children.
I’ve seen several children in the neighbourhood I live in do nazi salutes.
They like their parents are arrogant hateful aggressive n stuck up and run around saying they are superior every day (which superior people would never behave the way these people have behaved year after year.
Children and adults walk all over me etc
The disrespect comes in all ages as does the bullying exclusion etc
Maybe try to just be yourself during holidays if you are able to relax otherwise you can be polite.
Most kids understand that some adults don’t do kids well, but if you’re friendly and redirect them it generally works out okay. I remember how unpleasant it was to be scowled at and dismissed by adults when I was a kid and all I had done to offend them was just existing. I try not to do that to kids myself. I know from personal experience that the wear and tear from being treated that way builds up over the years.
I don’t believe this to be true of all children. My nieces and nephews are good kids. Like @shutterbug said. They’re learning to be adults. No excuse for naziism though. Parents need to do better in that department. But they’re not all brats. Id say most are just trying to adjust to the nuances of life.
The logical part of me knows I will interact with her very little as she’ll probably be looking for her parents focus and not mine but anxiety brain does anxiety brain stuff.
Same. I make sure to be understanding of the child’s needs at least. It definitely sucked to exist in a room full of adults and be the only kid. So I will obviously be kind to her despite my anxieties. Besides anxiety is never an excuse to be unkind to someone anyway.
'Zactly. You’ll do fine. My impression of you is that you’ve always got your stuff a lot more together than you give yourself credit for, which you should. You’re kind of amazing.
Um. The amount of stuff you experience happening is not likely to be happening. You sound really symptomatic. Have you discussed this with your treatment team?
If you wear a mask pretty much everyone will leave you alone nowadays. You don’t have to like kids. That’s okay. They are usually dirty, loud, smelly creatures. Wear headphones, put on a mask and get a taser. I do that around strangers all the time. Even the headphones.
