I keep thinking I disassociate and say or yell things

I’ve been living like this for years (thinking I’m disassociating dozens, if not hundreds, of times per day). It’s really frustrating. I’m diagnosed as sz. I take meds. I smoke about a pack a day. Can anyone help me with this?

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I believe in us, smoking can create or exemplify those symptoms. I can be fairly normal until I have a cigarette and then the delusions come back on a micro scale followed by a dissociation. I know as a sz personally, I dissociate heavily after a big delusion hits.

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Thanks for your kind words. <3

What do you mean by yell things? I shout gibberish when I’m alone.

Like I get upset and yell F*cker!

You get upset with voices?

A lot of the times, embarrassingly enough, I’m upset at myself and then shoot a scowl at where I think the cameras are (sometimes I think people are watching me).

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I used to give the finger to the ceiling where I thought there were cameras

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I’m a bit confused are you actually yelling? Like have people told you you do that? Or do you not actually yell and people say you don’t do that but you think you do.

I do that, too.

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People say I don’t, but I think people think I’ll freak out if they confirm that I yelled/disassociated.

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