That I’m back in the hospital. That place ■■■■■■ with me so bad. I’m so tired I just want to stop thinking about it already.
I mean like I’m used to nightmares because of ptsd but just why am I having so many? I mean it was very scary. Like genuinely one of my biggest fears.
But like did I get traumatized again??? Did I just get triggered really bad??? I’m just so???
Get to root of it. Nightmares are not uncommon in adults and usually have a cause.
Psychological; unresolved issues, trauma, untreated anxiety, PTSD, mood disorder, etc. Medical; restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea, etc. Medications; benzodiazepines, antidepressants, melatonin and anti-hypertensives, etc. Do consult with your physician to rule out the above mentioned things.
Lots of things can lead to nightmares. If it’s a child, could be discord in the family, or allowing your child to view movies like “Chucky.” Do you have recall of the dreams? Some worry themselves into problems that they replay when they sleep. No recall of a dream(s) could be a night terror.
Well based on what you’ve listed psychological definitely seems the most likely. I already have ptsd. I’m just worried that this event is going to exacerbate it. I’m hoping it goes away after a few months. But I kinda have this lingering feeling that it’s not going to go away so easily…
I mean like everything keeps reminding me of it. And it makes me feel sick. I had a panic attack in the shower earlier because for some reason the water being too hot made me think I was back in the bin for a second.
Good thing I’m in therapy… the problem is this event damaged my trust in therapists very much.
It just sucks Every time I try to Improve and start to find some ■■■■■■■ stability somebody always ■■■■■ it up. Sometimes it’s my own fault but most of the time it isn’t it’s just so ■■■■■■■ frustrating. I want to scream
Sorry about ranting/cursing so much. I’m just very emotional rn.
Yes I do…
I suffer from chronic nightmares. I find mine are exacerbated by stress. Lately, the meds have killed my imagination in that area, though. I haven’t had a dream, at least not one I could recall, in a while.
I think a large part of your fears come from the fact that you have had control taken away from you, repeatedly. Between your past trauma and your recent experiences, you’ve been having other people unilaterally make major decisions for you, and you haven’t been given much power to take control of your own life.
Maybe it would help you to find areas of your life where you can exercise control in a safe, healthy manner. If you’re in control of your waking life, maybe you’ll feel more in control of your dreams, too.
I had a nightmare last night too. I can’t remember what it was though. I think I dreamed that they were using my blood to heal people. Like in Star Trek Into Darkness.
Hang in there noise. The shock and trauma of it should fade. Try to let it go as much as you can. Sorry you are going through all of this. It is all really recent. So you are probably getting severe stress from it. Was it terrible in the hospital? Some are better than others. Also some staff and some pdoc are better in them to. Would it help to talk about it?
I have nightmares almost every night too. I remember them when I first wake up, and then, I forget them.
I would have bad nightmares during a psychotic break, when I was off meds.
The problem is I’ve never had control. My whole life I’ve had things forced on me from meds to having somebody force themself on me. And now this. Especially since I didn’t need to be there. I wasn’t suicidal but nobody believed me. It’s so stupid.
And then people wonder why I’m so ■■■■■■ up. People wonder why I’m so distrustful. People wonder why I’m so ■■■■■■■ guarded and defensive.
But nobody is ever going to listen to me or believe me. I am nothing. I am a defect. I just need to learn to keep my ■■■■■■■ mouth shut.
Sorry I’m just venting I’m not mad at you or anything I just need to get it out.
Idk what I can even do though? Like idk I try to control my symptoms and treatments. I try to have control over my own freedom but even that I don’t have.
I just feel so at everybody’s mercy. It’s disheartening.
From my experience, frequent nightmares is a signal for the coming of a relapse, and a relapse means the outburst of the nightmares even when you are awake during the day. Keep Observing yourself.
I’m hoping it fades soon. Im just so stressed from all of this this hospitalization couldn’t have happened at a worse time. I haven’t felt this paranoid in years.
I’m just trying to stay calm and present. But it’s definitely been a struggle.
The hospital itself was more boring than anything else. But a good chunk of the staff just seemed pissed off most of the time. A couple of nurses were pretty cool though one guy always stocked me up on snacks so that was cool.
A couple of the patients had no concept of boundaries which was terrifying. But luckily most of them were chill.
The beds were hard the shower burned. And the doctors were condescending everybody talked to me like I was a bratty 5 year old if I asked for anything
They wouldn’t let me have my ■■■■■■■ inhaler for like 4 days until I had an asthma attack. Cause for some reason they didn’t believe me when I said I had asthma??? And even then they only let me have one of my inhalers.
The food wasn’t too bad at least.
The group’s were boring and not very helpful. I pissed off a counselor because I was too knowledgeable about coping mechanisms… to which I’m just like??? Aren’t we here to learn how to ■■■■■■■ cope??? I was talking about stims and she cut me off with “those don’t work for everybody” and I was just like chill. Nothing works for everybody wtf.
A pill almost killed me that sucked. It was called prosazin?? Or something I swear to hell I almost died. Like I stood up and everything sounded like it was underwater and I lost my vision for a sec I’m pretty sure I almost passed out. NEVER AGAIN.
I saw a bunch of different people get thrown into iso which was always terrifying. And loud and just scary.
The first place I went to was horrifying though it was a “holding facility” it was just a room full of like 50 people. And you were supposed to just sit In a chair you weren’t even allowed to really get up and stretch your legs before staff would yell at you and threaten to force you to sit down.
The food was expired.
They just left this one girl to sleep in her own piss
Another guy was pacing around the room freaking out about his son while staff yelled and laughed at him
Another guy pissed on the wall
The lady next to me would randomly shout and then break down crying saying “they killed him” over and over again.
Another girl ate a ■■■■■■■ Styrofoam cup tried to fight the staff before passing out because her blood sugar was apparently over 400
The doctor was a fake ■■■■■ I have never seen such a fake smile like omfg it was almost comical.
And that’s not even everything just omfg that place was horrible I’d rather die than go back.
I’m sorry. For some reason I had high hopes for you since you are young. My friend was young when she got sick but she made it through high school and has been slowly plowing through college for 5 years now. Made me have high hopes others can accomplish the same.
I feel like I’ve let you down. I’m sorry. I wasn’t supposed to be in the hospital I really didn’t belong there.
I feel like giving you a hug. Idk why, but I feel like you need one (if those are acceptable).
I’m so sorry, @Noise. It sounds like your experience was incredibly traumatic; it’s no wonder you’re having nightmares. I wish I had some good advice for you. All I can do is apologize for how you were treated and hope you never have to go through something like that again. (((((Noise)))))
Hi, Noise. I’m fairly new here. I wonder if the staff is so callous because of the way TV, computers, and all the media have made terrible things like you’ve described so unreal and so so-what. I mean, you’re suffering tortures that are very real and awful for you, while they just sort of shrug. Even if you kicked someone in the b*lls, would they care or even feel it?
I know this isn’t very helpful. I’ve been in the Quiet Zone of the ER before. Been handcuffed when I was suicidal. And no, I didn’t belong in that place at all. I hear you and am totally on your side.
I, too, got handcuffed when they took me in. It was very traumatizing to be carted off in the back of a cop car to the hospital and then put in a small room by myself with no one to talk to for hours with just a small tv up in the corner while they waited on a room for me.
I couldn’t even have a pillow, for the risk of me suffocating myself, etc. Yes, it was demeaning. And the food was poor. How could I be expected to sleep like that? Oh well. I’m glad that’s over, or until further notice.
The food was awful! And all we had was decaf tea. We were allowed a little packet of lemon juice and a packet of sugar. >:( I was not happy with that place at all or my therapist for sending me there.
Granted, I needed it. I slept for 3 days straight almost that week.