I just want to share how i feel

My mother got diagnosed with schizophrenia when i was 5, i had no idea of what she was going through at the time, i was just a kid enjoying making mud cakes in the back yard with my older sister, but not so long ago now that i’m 21 i came to accept the terms that her condition was passed on to me, i was in a state of conflict with myself about whats real and what is not, and what should i belief in or in what i should not, my sister thinks im starting to get sick like my mother and im in a big deal of pain to the point of thinking of going the coward way hoping God would forgive me for my sins even the one of taking my own life! I never thought i would be strong enough to stop myself, i just thought about all the people that loved me and about all the pain i would bring them if i was to do such stupid move from my part. I opened my eyes and realized that i wasn’t going to let my mind control me and well i guess here i am hoping for the best.

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Get officially evaluated and diagnosed by a qualified psychiatrist experienced in treating psychotic disorders like schizophrenia.

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I’m doing the same thing, wondering what is the truth is and what is not the truth. You’ll make it!

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