I just realized, that i was sick and i glimpsed the real suffering now...😢

Yeah, maybe thats what my pdoc tried to say me the last time, when he stated that am a bit manic now…
I was flying high lately on some dreams, hopes, some love…
While my heart wasnt beating, plus i had my sins maybe… :roll_eyes::pleading_face::pleading_face:
But ive glimpsed the real suffering today, i felt how hurts a broken heart, came off my mania instantly now…
Yeap, am more on the path of being better, but my dream just broke now, am sad , pals… :sweat::sweat:
Yeah, maybe tomorrow I’ll have the strengths again…
But i just realized finally, that ive been sick and maybe terrible to the others, this is hard… :sweat::sweat:
Stay well, all, i was criticized here too, but i know that you wanted the life for me i guess…:smiling_face::smiling_face:
I smile through tears now…
I guess that ill be different already even tomorrow, when I’ll just know what ive been through…:cry::cry:

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I’m not sure what you’re referring to. What happened?

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Are you realistic now? And seeing reality?

Or are you switching to depression? And being so harsh on yourself, that it isn’t real either? Or helpful?

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Ph, Marian, you are sweet for the concern…
I think, that i got just realistic yesterday, thats all, dont worry… Well, i was a bit manic the last months, while i struggle every day with my psychosomatic disorder and the reste and theres no really a treatment for the somatic disorder, while its disabling and i have it since kid, which is a worse prognosis…
I think, that i was realistic, cause the last months i believed that i can recover until i am totally fine all the time, while probably i’ll always have some symptoms… And if i’ll want a partner one day, i’ll have to warn him about my dx, cause otherwise it will be one big lie etc, which limits my possibility to find someone, cause people are still very afraid of sz and i forgot that… My ex for example leaved me because of that…
I’ll be fine, dont worry, hugs!

Oh, well, @CoCo , i was complaining a lot about my isolation etc and i broke the ears of many here, thats all… Some said it loud but i take that well now… Cause we are all in the same boat in a way and i needed to push a bit… But the critics were always constructive, i just was way too sensitive to critics, cause even my family doesnt believe in me anymore, so i have few support…
anyway, you rock too, dear, all the best, i just woke up, i am still in the clouds, i’ll see what i can do today in a few :wink: :slight_smile:
:hugs:

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If it was manic state you might have crashed.

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