I have wrecked everything and i feel like an idiot

I hate what i have become. I dont even know the true reason as to why i stooped so low. All i can say is im sorry to the people who didnt deserve this. Im sorry. I wish i never even listened to people and their comments. I shouldnt have and i feel like an absololute idiot and it drove me mad because i listened to people who werent important becauseof my own insecurities.i made others feel the way i felt and i really am sorry. I didnt want to hurt anyone i just wanted my mind back. I felt they took mine so i wanted it back I want to be a better person and learn from this experience. I want to learn and understand things better not just from my own prospective but from other peoples too. I didnt want any of this to happen i just wanted my mind back. I though i would get it by being horrible to others because i thought they took mine but it wasnt the case my mind took me and i let it take over. Im sorry and i do feel bad but i know i cannot keep feeling bad. I want to help the people i hurt i want to help them but i dont know how and what i can do to help im scared because i dont know who the good and bad people are.

I feel bad and embarrassed at even writing this because i feel it was aimed at the wrong people. Others warped my mind so much so i took it out people who didnt deserve it.

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I forgive you ! You’re only human. Maybe you could make it up to these other people?

I dont know how to. How do i do that when i dont know what has specifically upset them. I have said so much and i dont know what can be done

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You could ask them if they’re upset with you, (they might not even be upset with you), and if they are, ask them why.

But they will not tell me the truth. Because they have done bad too. Yet it seems im the only one who is remorseful for my actions despite them egging me on. Im scared and terrified of these people because i dont know where i stand they will not tell me the truth what so ever.

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Its like they want me to act out so they can come accross as the victim . Im tired of being shamed. I just want to know what was said at the beginning.

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Sometimes people won’t give you answers or closure.

I would recommend to just move on and not care. They most likely already have.

Yeah probably. But i do feel bad for what i said but i sont even know if it was justified. I said it in a ment of pure madness ,anger and fear of death i thought i was about to die so i said the worst things known to man anything to hurt these people i thought . But it hurt me in the end as i didnt realise what i said.

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How long ago was this? You could always send a message that you are sorry about your behavior at that time and that you weren’t sound of mind.

But they probably already know that.

They dont beleive me they hate me.

Best to forget about them and not make the same mistake again when in a similar situation.

Just learn your lesson, let go and move on.

By holding on to these emotions your not helping anyone.