I have too much grey matter?

Okay a while ago I was having introusive thoughts in my head of doing bad bad things to children. And now I’m on new meds and found meditation helpful, no more visuals, but one thing. I hear the work pedophile all the time, even when I’m not thinking of it!!! And it’s ■■■■■■■ annoying. On the t. V in my head, almost like OCD. No more visuals. But just the word, for no reason. I need to find some outlit. Maybe more meditation to heal myself and re align my chakras. Anyone else have this?

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I do not.

I’m not a psychologist but it sure sounds to me that you have some sort of subconscious fear of being a pedophile or being accused of such or something and your brain is working against those fears.

Dunno, that’s all I can think of.


You might find this helpful.

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I obsess a lot about things too. It use to be I would get flashes of images that were disturbing and upsetting. And I would hear a voice say something disturbing clear as a bell. So I know how you feel. But just remember you didn’t do anything wrong, they are just thoughts and voices. You didn’t put them there. The right med combination got rid of them for me.

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I’m not sure why you’re afraid of doing bad things to children or hearing that your a pedophile, but I hope you find peace.

It may be a delusion and you might be able to work through it in therapy; or with a medication change.

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Thank u hunni! I was reading and watching videos about pocd and I felt alot better. I try to do alot of self help. Cause I can’t explain to doctor if I don’t understand what is going on in my head

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I used to have the introusive thoughts. And now I just hear the work when I’m not even thinking about anything. Like I’ll hear it in motion, idk if u would understand that. I have never touched a child inappropriately. Never had the urge to. It ■■■■■■■ sick. But I had bad thoughts, started with post partum. But I’ve been thru alot of things, not just pocd. Thank you for your feed back I am hanging out with friends and listening to calling music. I need to meditate again!

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Read this article then ask your pdoc for haloperidol or olanzapine. Problem solved, lol

At 12 weeks haloperidol treated subjects showed a statistically significant reduction of the brain’s grey matter (the nerve cell bodies) compared with controls, and at one year both olanzapine and haloperidol treated subjects had lost more grey matter than controls.


Helprodol sucked when I was on it I was so lethargic. But I think I could be on a tiny dose. And o am on abilify. And pocd mean$???

@ninjastar how to know if your really a murderer? Some of my thoughts I post here are about me getting my emotions out a bout my brother, harmless.

I also have a fear that I’m going to murder my mother. I get thoughts that I am a danger to her and that I’m a murdere, they make me feel really bad. My treatment team think I have harm ocd.

I don’t know how to answer that. Your posts scare me more than other people’s intrusive thkyght posts, because you tend to expres a desire to actually follow through on your thoughts, rather than a horror about having them.

I thought I had too much grey matter too but realized it was a grandiose delusion.

I had criminal thoughts when off meds. Idk if it was ocd but they disappeared once I got on meds, no positive or ocd symptoms now on 6mg Risperdal.

But I have horrible negative symptoms.

I get weird mental images and thoughts they get worse when stressed.

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