I have psychosis maybe schiz?

So Ive been having a rough ■■■■■■■ half year I’m 15 this isn’t normal.
Backgroundish: my grandma has schitzoaffective disorder, and I was the dumbass to take acid several times. Haven’t in half a year or more but it doesnt matter; damage is done

I had a psychotic episode 6 months ago, I had delusions, some of which I still have an emotional reaction too(I thought popcorn was sending me mind messages and idk why but if someone wanted to bet it really was I would prob accept even though I know it’s false) , I had felt sick one moment? couldn’t understand English had to real lips and thought God was ending the world because he hated me. The next moment.

I did not hallucinate other than serenity and the mind messages the popcorn was sending me were in-between audible and not if that makes sense. I did question if the world was actually 3d a few times but (I mean I still question that like the fuck)

Next psychotic episode several months later.
I hallucinated
I delused a little bit (was convinced I was gonna get fired and kill my cat, the voices told me so. They argued)

After that was constants parranoia that never stopped. I am hiding under my coveres right now scared to sleep. I heard voices daily for a couple of weeks, experienced what was almost half delusions but I mean I guess if I was actually having delusions I wouldnt know lol. But it’s like I don’t believe these thoughts but still have an emotional psychical reaction to them, or just convince myself they are real(I thought I was an alien once and I “proved it” by studying the doubled reflection in the window and drank Dr pepper thinking it was alien juice) another time I fully thought I was satan. Another one I had a weird thought that an alien was going to rape me. I didn’t believe it but I reached down and spread my self for it.

I haven’t had full delusions or hallucinations since the first 2 episodes unless you count mild auditory noises that aren’t there and voices that are in between.

It keeps changing almost. At first the main aspect was delusions and halluicinations then it was commanding voices and paranoia.

There’s still parranoia but now for the past week it’s been slight constants paranoia, bizzare thoughts, bizzare dreams, sometimes the dreams aren’t even truly odd they just make me feel uncomfortable and such. I don’t feel like I actually sleep it’s almost like instead of sleeping I just have areas of skipped time. Each 1:30 or so. Every. ■■■■■■■. Time. In. The. Night.
Songs sound loud and commanding exept instead of commanding like they were talking to me.
When I have “episodes” i. Go. Crazy. Recently anyway, the past week.

One episode this week I ate ramen with my fingers, sat on the floor in lol, woofed at my dog several times. Yelled hi at my animals. Hugged them close. Talked in a weird not like me wayself. Tried to take a video of myself so I could see what it was like. I didn’t manage too. I couldn’t operate the camera on my phone. A socket mind messaged me to get back to reality and I yelled no at it.

And one last thing: I have this strong belief that I do have schizophrenia in my head that the logical side of me knows makes no sense because you know I know what’s going on and I don’t have much hallucinations right. But I have a major belief that I do even thought I know I don’t if that makes sense.

Yea. I’m scared to get help

Hey. You have a broken leg the pain will get you to seek some help from a doctor.

You have a broken brain you do anything but.

Please see a doctor. You see a regular doctor to rule out other things and if that checks out you get a referral to a psychiatrist. You need to make the first step. Untreated schizophrenia is brain damage and you’ve a history in your family so you need to see a doctor soon it’s a no brainer.

Acid is weird. It’s a catalyst to certain brain chemistry and it’s out of your system within the first 24 hours. Strangely, you still , under certain conditions, get side effects years later. It’s usually not a causal agent but can make symptoms worse.

Pot isn’t good for schiz. Most folk can’t deal with it so no street drugs. They can lead to psychosis themselves.

Please Do yourself a favour and get to your doctor!

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I agree with @rogueone. Don’t try to self-diagnose yourself. It could be the acid, but your best bet is to talk to a doctor or psychiatrist about it. You’re pretty young to be experiencing this type of thing. It must be frightening to go thru all of this, but you should talk to someone about it. Maybe a teacher or another adult whom you trust. I understand your apprehension about seeing a doctor, but if you chose to keep it to yourself, you run the risk of further problems and situations that will only complicate your recovery. This forum is a safe way to receive advice from others with similar experiences. Please feel free to share your experiences and concerns about any further problems. There are many good people on this forum that can offer you their own advice.

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I guess the acid might of triggered it, but it’s definitely not “just the acid anymore” -it has gotton worse even after I stopped taking anything psychoactive

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Simply put. Early intervention with the appropriate medication leads to better outcomes! Make the appointment first thing tomorrow if you can!

Yea I’m having my yearly physical soon I think I’ll let doc know about it then

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Please share your original post with a doctor MD asap - @Kale_Grey.

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Hey it’ll be ok treatment is scary but it’s not so bad if you find good doctors. I wish you luck. In the mean time try to research coping mechanisms! They can help tremendously.

I agree with Tomasina.

@Kale_Grey Research has confirmed repeatedly that the earlier that people get treatment for the early signs of mental illness (especially schizophrenia and related disorders) the better the long term outcome for the person.

You can read more here:
The Importance of Early Treatment for Schizophrenia and Psychosis

Also, here is list of Early Diagnosis & Treatment Centers. Maybe there is one near where you live.
Worldwide Early Diagnosis & Treatment Centers for Psychosis & Schizophrenia

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