I say bad things to other people. I am oozing poison when this paranoid impulse happens.
Being always distrustful is tiresome and snapping at people makes me a bad person, which causes me emotional discomfort later. It’s not a relapse of any kind, I’m just conditioned to expect the worst from others.
I don’t want to be a bad person. What’s going on with me?
How do you cure a harsh heart?
I do this too. get snappy and mean if i’m paranoid or anxious.
It’s okay, you’re not a bad person
Everyone gets mean when stressed or under pressure.
The fact that you feel bad about it
makes you a good person
but try not to dwell on it
Hey @catch22 have you change your meds?
not yet, I have an appointment in a couple of weeks, till then i’m just getting by
Don’t worry though! i’m paranoid as hell but doing okay!
I experience this feeling a lot from time to time, and I’ve logically narrowed it down to two possible explanations.
One, I’m perhaps not the nicest guy around, guilty of unhealthy expressions of emotion in my relationships and that, in itself, is who I am so I must learn to accept myself. Who I am inside, represented in my thoughts and beliefs, will inevitably bleed through. With that said, it is foolish to try to gain the gratitude, love, and acceptance of everyone around me. It is when I truly accept myself that I learn to love, and the greater love I can learn, the greater love I can show to others. I don’t have to be perfect - no one is.
Or two, I’m a nice person with good intentions, and yet, my actions don’t quite seem to reflect my inner decency. Here, the problem lies with my conditioned response to triggers and annoyances; personally, I’ve noticed that the way I respond to the voices inside my head set a precedent and become the model with which I interact with real people. If I’m friendly to them, I’m friendlier to all.
In either case, the answer is love.
That’s good news, keep up the good work
You guys are great, thank you.
I believe if somebody could love me, knowing how harsh my hart is, that i would blossom.
I used to say mean things while unmedicated. You’re not a bad person.
I was an extremely toxic person before I got on a med combo that seems to somewhat work for me. From day to day no one would be able to predict my mood; I was unstable and I’d always lash out when I was feeling bad. Now that I understand myself better and can see things more clearly I’m appalled by what I said and did before meds. I’m learning to live with it though, and I guess that’s really all we can do. :S Good luck.
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