The best job I am probably even capable of ever getting is turning out to be a hellscape
I can’t just sit there not being ‘useful’
Manager at an arms length
Incompetent people giving me shitty advice meaning I make mistakes (Not my thing at work 99% of the time)
No meaningful projects
No induction plan
Realisation that yes, maybe it’s not the right time
I have three hours and 14 mins to decide what to do
Maybe if you feel unuseful you can think about new projects, talk with colleagues, ask if someone can use some help, look for courses you can follow,…
Use your creativity and you’ll come up with something.
Or else, read the news while getting paid 
I guess this is part of the induction of the civil service. You have to be able to pretend you are working
As I said I’d rather peel my skin off than sit there for 8 hours being left drifting
If you want to make conversation you can ask your colleagues about their retirement plans.
What did you expect? Here it’s well known that civil servants are only counting down to retirement.
Eye service may be a good choice but it’s definitely bad advice. I think you can just read more about your job.
My mother talked sense into me
What did she say?
We spoke for about an hour and she talked me down to a calm state again
She has enough on her plate but she still helps regardless
That’s very nice of her.
I know you’re about to start your working day and I wish you the best of luck.
it might get easier as time goes on
It’s probably just a phase of being the new guy. It will probably be easier to take initiative and know what to do when you have settled in. Although sometimes there will be gaps with nothing to do. I think that is normal some workplaces.
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