I have changed my view about my weight and my mental health

i weigh 190 exactly now i started back doing keto a couple days ago i lost 30 pounds doing keto than i lost 14 pounds eating whatever i wanted and now im back on keto because i have been getting really hungry lately eating the way i have been eating and i am hoping when i start abilify that i dont gain any but if i do gain some weight i will be okay as long as i am sane and im not gaining too much weight, i will try to stick to my diet as it suppresses appetite also i will be vaping cbd which can. supresses appetite and im hoping that i can stay under 200 pounds i probably weigh around 195 actually right now but i lost some water weight from cutting carbs again, i dont really care AS much about my weight now because even if i was 160 pounds right now if i felt how i have been feeling on this med i would probably switch meds even if it means im gonna gain weight, i am praying that abilify works because if it doesnt than i will be really sad because than i will have to switch meds again which is really painful.

basically i have been worrying more about my weight than my mental health and didnt really care about my mental health until i start having problems like how i have had on this med and now its my main focus to get my full sanity back because i really dont want to be like this any longer