I hate myself, and I hate my life

I don’t hate myself but I hate ppl.

I guess I’m still in denial. I think I need more time to process my disability first.

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I guess I care about people, but I don’t trust them.

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I feel like hurting them sometimes when I am with them. I isolate myself from them when this happens like going to my room.

I’m a very passive person so I don’t ever think about hurting other people. Have you mentioned this to your psychiatrist? Urges to hurt other people aren’t good. Maybe you need a med adjustment.

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Nah, I just need to stay away from them.

Yeah. If it gets worse, make sure to tell your doctor.

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Now that my cousin’s family left our house I feel calmer and better.

Good. Maybe the anxiety of social situations made you to want to hurt them.

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Its not anxiety its jealousy causing anger.

does that physical condition that you have always progress or does it stabilise in some people?

like CF some people’s condition reaches a stage where it doesn’t progress

I think working with your symptoms takes time- I had severe negatives when I was misdiagnosed with sz, but eventually putting myself into routine and doing what I love intermittently helped me to battle through them. You have to find what works best for you.

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Mine progresses until I die. Basically it kills your muscles.

that is really sad. i really hope you get to live as meaningful of a life as possible. :pray:

and that treatment really slows down progression

I hope you feel a little better today, i get those days where I hate myself and it took a while and a lot of thinking to come to conclusion we have to fight off ourselves everyday, if our mind (ourselves) is against us we have to befriend (again, ourselves) to battle it, what really helped me is right on a piece of paper all my values and virtues and reflect on them from time to time. It takes time and is a journey like many of our endeavors. I wish you good luck!

Unfortunately treatment won’t come out unless there is some research done.

Don’t be sad, it’s just life! I hope to live a meaningful live as much as possible.
I think I’m still in denial, and that’s why I’m missing my old life. I’m getting closer to death as time goes on, frankly. I still don’t know my subtype, so hopefully I will get to find it!

We all love you here!

:+1: sounds awesome :slight_smile: