I don’t know why few answer my posts… One friend told me, that I sound as a dying person. Maybe the people tend to run away from those who rot between the death and the life?
OK, everyone showed it to me, that I need to change. I was too irrational before to realize it and to aim it…
But am I just an always complaining, annoying monster?
Do you know what my mom told me? That I should kill myself if I feel only pain…
I am even scared to hate her methods on me, while this is hard.
I also have a big internship in the pain and the no life… should I pardon this to myself?
My bf told me before, that I even don’t look as a woman anymore… I was so tough with myself and the others…
But now, I am still torn between the death and the life. It’s been too many years of no life and just torturing the others around me…
Idk… maybe I should become tender…
@anon10648258 , your life is worth it, dear!!! Don’t ever trust those who say you the opposite, sheesh!!! They are fukkers, don’t believe this!!! Me too, my physical shape is very bad now, its hard to be disabled both mentally and physically I know… But you can give yourself to many, your life worth it!!!
Me, seeing only my mom everyday, yeah, pfff…
Why no one didn’t say on my post about the pain in sz, that they knew the pain too around this illness? Sz is very painful when not stabilized, right?
One last question pls… did you also had a period of conflict where you were between the death and the life? This conflict is sz too, right? Maybe I am a freak yeah… thanks daddy… you were cool, yeah …
No one answers…
Maybe I am really too desperate for you…
But it’s not my fault either eh? It’s not my fault, that my sz is so severe…
Am I too desperate? Or I stink the curse and the death?
Yeah, the loneliness of a person, a thing to get used to probably… this is OK though now… what I can’t handle anymore are my paranoia and the somatics from them…
I feel tension even around my mother for God sake, it’s painful…
I hated my sz self for years, I am much inferior to what I was before sz. But recently I learned to love my sz self even if I cant work and even if I stay in bed most of my time.
Maybe you’ll get more responses if your posts are shorter.
Aw, thank you! Sorry I just woke up lol. It’s 10am right now.
Thank you so much for your kind words. You are also so, so loved.
Yeap, dear! Don’t listen much to the others. My family even is almost given up on me, which is hard. And as you, I am almost even physically disabled now besides mentally, cause I knew the sedentary for 20 years…
Let’s fight
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