I guess I'm naive and people have no concience

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What I’ve been striving for and how people can be so shitty. The point of life is learning,
Learning about life is an entity all it’s own. I’m not sure what I am striving for totally right now. I do the mundane things necessary to keep me in my apartment and I go to my job dutifully and I try to be nice to people (which means we both end up happy) but I’m following some plan.

I want a little more out of life. I think I know a little about life, I think I know a little about women. How could I not? They’re half the population. I had an epiphany last night. A little understanding, the truth about women. I know they’re people and just struggling as much as men. Yes, I remember @Ninjastar’s lecture last month about each person is an individual and not just an object to use as pleasure. I get along with women at work fine. A few must like me out of all of them and the same of the men. But even the people who can’t stand me keep our interactions at a civil, respectful level when we come in contact with each other.

I don’t know. I guess real power is making people think that they don’t know what they really know for sure. Stealing their thoughts. My dad told me everybody wants a little power. A car, maybe a little money, a nice place to live. My ex-roommate had a beautiful girlfriend. I ain’t afraid to say he was good looking too. I mean if you see Brad Pitt it’s obvious he is good looking so there is no harm in saying it, right. But I lived in that small room for a year and his girlfriend lived in the board & care too so she came to our room almost daily.

I was jealous a lot. She was so nice and she was always nice to me and I liked her. And I thought she liked me but after a year and a half of her being with my roommate I was talking to my roommate and he said he wasn’t even sure if she liked him!! So my first thought was she probably didn’t like me either. But after they broke up I was talking to my roommate and I said, “I’m so jealous of you, she was really nice and you are so lucky to have had a girlfriend. I wish I had a girlfriend.” And he answered, “I’m jealous of you. It wasn’t so great having a girlfriend, I always was jealous of you having a job.” He said he would rather have had a job like me than having a girlfriend!

And a year later when we went our separate ways I met up with him occasionally to lend him money and talk and catch up on each others lives a little. We were talking in my car one night and he dropped a bombshell and he told me the entire time they were together, they only had sex once! I don’t know why he would tell me (or anyone else) that and I immediately tried to act like it wasn’t weird and I should have just not given it a second thought and moved on because I didn’t want to embarrass him. But it took awhile to process that information. I knew both of them and how they acted so close and I couldn’t stop from thinking about it right then. So I was right and he was embarrassed.

But anyway on these forums I enjoy posting the AA quote: “Don’t compare your insides with other peoples outsides.” It sure drives that truism into my brain even more. I mean, I still see the guy and we’re cool, we still talk and I occasionally loan him money and we went out to dinner a couple of times when he came to pay me. But that sure was an eye opener.

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I read the post, it was an entertaining read but I fail to see what it has to do with people not having a conscience. Some couples are fairly asexual, it doesn’t mean they are using each other, necessarily.

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Yeah, OK, sorry. I didn’t explain. I’m not one of those guys who women naturally like. I mean you see those guys who always have girlfriends and all women like them. I knew people like that. So last night I had an epiphany like I said and something dawned on me about women. My neighbors are incredibly aware and as I stopped to ponder on what I learned the woman next store realized what I had learned and did everything in her power to make me not think it. People don’t want me to know cool s*it. I know this sounds like babbling but this is my life. And it worked and she confused me. The upstairs guy did the same thing today. They don’t care what they did even one bit. No conscience. Sorry, you asked.

I don’t know if her not really liking him was using him, I’m sure some real feelings were there. But if you knew the guy you would know why what he told me shocked me.

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Ah, so you believe that the people next door are derailing your train of thought. I doubt that very much, they are just making random noises, it’s the delusion that makes you think they are responding to you.

I would recommend a pair of Bose Quietcomfort 20 headphones, I think similar things and these keep me sane by blocking out mumbly noises from around me.

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Alright, I’m not going to press the point. But they know what they did. I trust my instincts sometimes.

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Hey, man. I’m not going to press my point, either, but I will say you’re quite fixated on your neighbors still. I’m glad you seem to have moved to a more accepting state of mind though, rather than fantasizing about violence towards them.

A lot of people are inherently self-centered. Putting yourself in another’s shoes is a learned trait. It’s hard for people to imagine hardships if they haven’t experienced something similar. But that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It means they have a lot of growing up to do.

And something like 80-90% of women living in residential treatment facilities have been sexually abused by staff. I learned about that when I worked at one. If you’re wondering why your roommate’s girlfriend wasn’t interested in sex, it probably had a lot to do with that. I couldn’t have sex for years after I was assaulted.

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In the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Person’ the author says that there’s a dark side to being highly sensitive, and that is that the sensitive person starts to feel superior to the ‘brutes’ around him. Starts to see the brutes as being just like animals. I started to feel this for a while but now when I start to dwell on how insensitive people can be I just say to myself ‘Yeah well, we’re all different’ and leave it at that.

We’re all different. I don’t think it needs any more thought than that.

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