I got it bad (TW)

DX'd - Other
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Yesterday for the first time in my life thought about suicide.

Today called father to explain how heavy period I’m facing…

After his stupid ideas,I yelled at him to listen how I live with all day hallucinations and not being capable of dealing with paranoia and anxiety,ptsd and depression,agoraphobia…

When I stopped talking,he new it’s very hard.

Later I just wanted to remind him of dealing with money problems and depth that never end.
He’s not willing to give me 50$.

Still having problems ,please help,voices are destroying me.

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Sorry my man…

Once I started spending my savings I couldn’t stop.

Also due to shiny object syndrome I lost money getting into the coin business on eBay.

Also my savings were already depressed because I gambled in the stock market.

But it was schizophrenia stocks… just had poor timing.

So long story short I have money problems too and I didn’t get to it this time but I have strained relations with everyone in my immediate family.

I hope someone can help lift you out of your doldrums. I meant to make you feel less alone….

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Thanks @Happy2Help

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Thing is my pdoc is on vacation ,but she already raised my Clozapine ,and said when she returns shr will prescribe me more.

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Mate. Sod your Father. Your first priority should be your mental health.

If anyone is getting on your proverbial tits today - shut the door in thier face, and focus on yourself x

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Thanks a lot @Naarai …

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I’m sorry you’re suffering so much. Sometimes family just make things worse.

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Thanks for support @everhopeful

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I’m sorry zoa… go to the ER if you can
Don’t wait.

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Sorry @Vertigo ,I just can’t go to our hospitals,as they are overcrowded with violent people who avoid jail claiming they are ill.Being through it in 2014.
As of tommorow my GP is available,so I will take refferal to other clinic near by if this continues.

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Yes please talk with your GP as soon as possible

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@anon28667878 Always remember you are a fellow struggler with Polydipsia.(compulsive cold water drinking).

We came to the conclusion that self discipline is the only way forward and out of it…

I’m failing but maybe writing here will jog me somehow or hearing from you, and well perhaps it’s helpful and mutually beneficial to follow up and talk. (The basis of Alcoholics Anonymous).

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This thing that happens is periodic.
I talked to help line two hours ago,then through conversation we came to the point that this is happening to me every year …
But it started in the august,and that was a reason for me going earlier to my pdoc.
I had agoraphobia and ptsd,and she raised my Clozapine in order to raise again in two weaks.
Thing is that I need realy very large dose in future ,as I built tolersnce to Clozapine .

And she is only dr who gave me right therapy for eight years.

Also,she has time to listen unlike others.

She gave me therapeutical doses of cloz before.

And she never messed with my meds.

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You think you may of been a bit short of them in your system mate?

Its ok to feel pissed off and have a wobble.

We all have them. Practice a bit of self care.

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@Naarai ,it’s been fight this few days…
I got it…

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Just maintain a bastrd attitude. If they annoy you - tell them to bugger off.

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Schizophrenia is an arsehole. Not only does it mess up your relationships - it also messes with your social life, and your trust in people. We are vulnerable Adults with a Severe Mental Illness, so cut yourself some slack.

Give yourself some time out. Make your family members realise that sometimes, you need some peace.

They will never understand - so dont try and change them. You just have got to adapt.

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Exactly what I decided.
You’ve been a Great support :v:

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