Schizophrenia.com

I felt like I was punishment

So did the doctor feel like he was meant to be punishment. He was always one step ahead of me, though, so I fell into the trap of feeling like it was my job to punish people by my very existence. An unwanted child whose mother was felt punished by having me and having to give care to me.

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It’s ok chordy I blame my parents for everything too. I too was unwanted .

It is hard for me to feel safe in a “home” but I am learning to relax alone in my room a little.

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when your a proper care kid without parents you’ll really feel unwanted

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Yes I know. It’s because blood runs thicker than water. I figure adoption is a draw. Equally bad as being unwanted. My parents had too much pride.

Glad your okay @chordy

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I don’t think either my sz is genetic its more generated in my upbringing with confusing messages and punishments. Than the torcher with the medication etc…I am so happy i don’t do with my parents and mental health anymore.

I’m literally the punishment itself too. I’m not worth it. I’m basically worthless and a piece of trash.
I’m not worth it and that’ll never change. I’m worthlessness itself.