Schizophrenia.com

I felt like a hypocrite

I felt bad about an incident that happened to me today. The day actually started out semi-OK. I was up at 6:00 am , the break of day and I decided to go for an early morning drive by myself. Hardly anyone was on the road and I stopped at the drive-thru for a milkshake. I live near San Jose, a big city in California of a million people. I live about 5 miles away but my drive took me through downtown.

Like any big city, it has it’s good parts and bad parts. I drove down a main thoroughfare and there were quite a few seedy people hanging around. Homeless people and down and out people and unfortunately some obviously mentally ill people. I stopped at a 7-11 to get a drink and there were some tough looking people hanging around. Some of them were just hanging around drinking coffee outside.

But there was this blonde chick, about 25 or 26 and she was talking to herself loudly outside. She was obviously mentally ill and in great distress. And she scared me. I know I shouldn’t have been but she made me nervous. I was going about my own business and I looked at her and she was actually kinda cute. But I looked at her nervously, got in my car and drove off. What could I do? Well, when I got home an hour later, I felt bad. I thought of this site and I thought I should have done something for her and helped her somehow.

I felt bad about being scared. I was in the normie world and I saw he from a normie point of view instead of as a fellow sufferer. Man, I wished I would have gone up to talk to her and comfort her and ask if I could do anything to help. She was obviously in a lot of pain. If this happens again I will act differently. But it’s a cold hard life in the big city.

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Live and learn man. Even us sz are forced to lived under the normie perspective it would seem. Especially after we’ve decided to put functionality first.

I met one SZA lad and he was a mess. I talked with him, but didn’t know what to do beyond that. He could barely keep a conversation going. At the time I was able to show a little sympathy, but looking back on it I don’t feel great about it. It makes me feel that there are mentally ill people out there who don’t stand a chance you know. Real ■■■■■■■ sad man.

Like they are more or less just like us in the “soul”.

Late 20s though she probably had the illness for a while. Which might speak of severity and prognosis.

Sucks man. I don’t think you did anything wrong. Not by the normal “mind your own business and look out yourself mentality.” The world would be different if it weren’t that way, but uh that’s how it is for now.

Give it a couple days, this won’t bare so much weight.

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Probably not a whole lot. If she was paranoid sz, and you walked up to her while she was in extremis… Hmm, well, let me put it this way: If you were in paranoid sz (or drug-induced psychotic) extremis, and some stranger walked up to try to console you, how would you react?

One also may wish to ask themselves, am I really responsible to save the world? (My answer is, “I’ll put the best information out there that I can, but I have no expectations about the results. And sometime, it’s just pointless to bother.”)

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I wouldn’t feel ashamed. When a person with SZ is in the middle of an episode, only they know what’s best for them. My sister would often shout in latin-type tongues and during those moments I’d make sure not to intervene.

Those episodes are oftentimes a relief once they are finally out of the system. Give 'em generous amounts of space, I say.

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@77nick77

Don’t be so hard on yourself… you’re a good person and you can’t help every one. The girl might not have even registered that you were there. If she was high or having an episode… there’s nothing you can do.

when I see some of the people in the parks out of their heads… there’s nothing I can do but quietly go on my way and don’t bring attention to them.

It’s frustrating… you want to help… but we can’t just approach perfect strangers… that could get dangerous pretty fast. What if she had a boyfriend in the diner just keeping an eye out…

I hope you’re having a better day today.

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