I saw a friend for 3 hours today. I tried to do my best in order to communicate like a normal and kind person but I got so bad in the end that I ve almost fainted… I had my energy down in my feet, I became shaky, really paranoid etc etc… on one side its good that I saw a friend but in the other, I felt so bad after it… it shows me that I didn’t do a lot of progress… its desperating… continue hoping for better states? but gosh, to be so sensible, for god sake- I was just with a friend who I know really well, nothing to worry about…
Sounds like anxiety?
anxiety but plus paranoia… I am to a point that I avoid answering the phone, I feel like my energy goes to my feet, its terrible… I dont know what to do. the Zyprexa can help me in the future?
I mean, how to deal with it? I start to understand that anxiety is not nothing. in my case, its even doubled with paranoia… I suffer physically because of those both… it sucks that the Zyprexa still doesn’t help me a lot on this side…
feeling is bad by definition yo
find a way to be good like sum them coping skillz
Maybe you need a med change. How long have you been on the Zyprexa?
6 months. ive switched too many aps in the past, nothing really worked. my doc finds me better on Zyprexa now and she said to wait… maybe it was just the defeat of the day this paranoia today… one nurse in the hospital told me that my med effect can take an effect up to an year even, I find it true in my case I think :).
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Three hours is a long time maybe try shorter spans.
It is amazing that you saw a friend for three whole hours! That is huge progress. Don’t sell yourself short. Maybe it would be easier for you to have shorter visits, and work your way up. Maybe an hour long visit would be more manageable for you.
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oh thank you guys, you understand me now…
me too, ive tried to explain to my mom that for me it was a progress. before, I ve been seeing this same friend for just an hour in maximum. now ive tried to give more from my energy to her. ok, I felt down after this but I made it. but my mother cant see this progress, she just saw my anxiety after this, my paranoia who was up to a point. in the past I couldn’t even answer the phone because of the paranoia… maybe the meds are working though…
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My med effect took me almost a year to quiet my debilitating paranoia. I was a complete shut in and almost agoraphobic, wouldnt even go in the yard or basement. Finally can go out and sit outside at night, be in the basement by myself, last week was the first time in about a year. Starting to Feel like myself again finally. Getting my sense of humor back. It all takes time and getting the right “cocktail” of meds which can be a deflating and entirely too long of a process. But brain chemicals are tricky things and slow progression is better than drastic changes. I now have more audible hallucinations because i dont have the paranoia, coping mech of some sort and me needing stimuli to function, part of my ocd the therepist says. But if the switch all happened overnight i would have lost it more than i did. Patience Daniel-son! You must let things work and at times they work very slow, but they mostly do work. Focus on the small improvements you notice and take notes or journal to help your pdoc expedite the process maybe. Good luck and stick with it!!
yeah, I see. for some it works faster, for some-slower… me too I am shut in… I became cold in this illness as my mom says… cynical too… depressed also but its not depression, its the schizophrenia. I keep continue taking my meds, I have no choice 
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Be diligent in taking your meds. You have to have faith that they will work. It took me over 2 years of constant psychotic breaks to finally realize that i actually needed to take meds and accept my illness. Now i just try to not let it own me or control my life. I have an illness, some days are good some bad. But i will continue to move forward and start enjoying life again. The illness is a part of you but dont let it define you. Take back control and start living life again. I have only done this in prob the past 2-3 months and i feel so much better already after years of torment. I still get hallucinations and delusions and negative symptoms but i know i can cope. We are stronger than other people because of what we can accomplish in spite of this sickness. We walk thru fire everyday and can still continue on. Have faith be proud, own it and take your life back. Dont let it win.
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ok, thank you yes, for me also-years of torments… I get sad sometimes because nobody loves me except my mother… but its normal maybe, icant function at all now plus i wont find love while wanting to possess somebody…i mean the boy who was seeing me some years ago… he didn’t love me but it still hurts… but its a childish thing, i know i know. we all here have broken hearts i guess :/.
My heart has been broken, stomped on, burned, and buried over the years. It still stings but i have found a great woman who takes great care of me and is so unbelievably understanding. We get married next week. I have faith that you can find love. Love often finds us when we are unable to love ourselves. The universe has a curious way about it. Just be patient and open to the signs fate has to offer. And get out of the house!!! Lol. It definitely helps tho to have a different 4 walls to look at sometime. Good luck in love @Anna1
oh, you are a lot here to be married. ill have to wait i guess. maybe this waiting is eternal in my case but i dont feel fine now, not still…me, i cant love anymore cause i am still too stuck with my ex…
New love usually fixes that. All my ex’s were crazy bitches so i didnt have that problem. Little did i know i was crazier than all of them!! Hahahaha. I just hid it better. Im a good actor, should have tried to act for a living. I was always afraid i would do a heath ledger type thing and get stuck in character. I have enouh characters of my own to keep track of!! But i guess it keeps me from being lonely home all day. I talk to myself even when im not hearing voices!! Is that strange?! Lol.
We tend to awfulize in these types of situations. I would guess that the situation is not nearly as bad as you think.
yes, I guess. but it was so hard for the moment that I was scared that my meds are maybe too strong… but maybe it was the illness, isn’t it?
The illness plays havoc with our thinking and perceptions. I dont know when im dreaming or awake sometimes. I just always figure its 50% meds and 50% illness no matter what im feeling at the time. Dont get stuck on whys and whos and the past. Yesterday is done, live in today, for a brighter tomorrow.
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