Schizophrenia.com

I feel trapped

I have a creative itch this morning but I have no idea how to express it. It’s an addictive yet miserable feeling. It’s like my head is being split in half. I feel like I’m going to die and no one is going to remember me. I might as well as been never been born.

Draw something, even if it isn’t good it helps to aliviate the feeling.

Do you need to be known?
Well, we know you here!

I need to create. If my creations are worthwhile I’ll be known. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Perhaps creating for the sake of creating is the right attitude but it seems as if it would be hard to stay motivated without others input that your creations are worthwhile.

You must have a very high self esteem to be able to do so. Am I right?

I like the idea of creating for the sake of fulfilling my creative side’s needs. Not for others, but for myself, I believe is more therapeutic that way.

But to each eachs own ideas.

What do you create?

I write and paint and photograph, you?

Nothing really. The most creative thing I do is programming, but it’s much more limited than writing and painting. It’s sad, but I mostly daydream.

I usually go to the gym and exercise when I get this feeling but currently have no gym membership.

Well, this happens to famous people. Who remembers the stars of yester-year ? I wasn’t around in the 50s, so you could name the stars of tv and cinema of the 50s and I wouldn’t know them in general.

Jerry Springer said he wouldn’t be remembered as nobody nowadays knew who Jack Benny was.

Who’s Jack Benny? A household tv name in the 50s. Apparently.

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Do you feel free while you’re painting?

:smile: yeah, I think I do.

That must be a good feeling. I never feel free.

While programming I lose track of time and feel totally consumed by it, but not free. It’s an obsession that is satisfying once it’s finished.

Well, feeling free is purely from a perspective point of view. You are indeed a free person. Of course you are constricted by society’s rules and all of that, but you are free.

I used to struggle a lot about that issue. I came to the conclusion that we are as free as we want to be.

Time to get to work, ttyl!

Good luck with your creations, and please share!