I feel terrible but I can't take it back

My poor case manager. I’ve had him as a case manager for almost 5 years now. He’s invariably nice to me and he’s a cool guy. One thing I noticed about him which might have come from his days growing up in New York is that almost every time I saw him, he didn’t completely know what he was doing but he just kind of pretended he knew what he was doing but he was actually winging it. Like a little bit of a fast talker. I noticed this years ago but I never let on I knew.

Just recently he picked up on the fact I knew. I’m sure he was hiding it from everybody but us schizophrenics pick up on weird things. And now it’s like he’s been exposed and I can see it really affected him that I knew. He was hiding it. Now, the poor guy is struggling to adjust and find a new way to do his job. I feel bad but I didn’t do it on purpose.

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