I feel pretty bad now

I was with my mother and step-father for Christmas.

We had a good day yesterday. They invited their neighbours round as their plans got ruined by Covid, as did our original plans

About 2 hours ago, I just said I want to come home, which was before we’d eaten dinner and I was supposed to stay with them until tomorrow.

I was super bored, and wanted to be in my own home tonight. At home I can listen to my music and smoke indoors.

Just sitting around watching TV is not something I find that enjoyable these days

We watched a film, and I found it pretty triggering, and I have been struggling with symptoms starting to surface again.

I need my own space, and I find even low level interactions very tiring these days.

Did enjoy the company, but I felt I’d reached my limits of what I could cope with

Should I feel bad? I don’t like letting my mother down, but I was getting a bit bored and wanted to be in my own home

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I think you did the right thing. You were there for Christmas day, that’s the main thing.

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You shouldn’t feel bad @Joker
I’m sure they understand.

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Nothing wrong with wanting to be in your own home.

It’s totally ok. You have mental illness and took care of yourself. This is very good actually. You did spend time with them which is important. It’s ok you were ready to go home after a bit

Thanks for your replies.

I just doubt things sometimes.

Didn’t want them to think I was being ungrateful, but I need some space

Lived alone for nearly 5 years now, and I am used to my own routines etc.

Last thing I want to do is upset my mother on Christmas holidays

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The experts say routine is important for sz. If your family ever doesn’t understand, just let them know your routine is really important for you and for your mental health

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You shouldn’t feel bad. I was alone Christmas Eve and Day and wanted to be around people. Because of my diabetes and emphysema that’s not a good idea with Covid19.

If I go around people by the time I get back home I’m exhausted. I start having crazy thoughts like “You’re going to call an (African American) a n…” That day I went out in public and I suppose every African American that lives in my area came to the same place I was. So here I am having to fight off these stupid thoughts and I’m not a racist. (At least I don’t think I am). By the time I got home I was exhausted.

Most of the time it’s just easier to stay home.

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I’m with you on this. The older I get, the less I enjoy being around others. No desire to spend time in person with anyone other than Squirrelette or Mrs. Squirrel for the most part. I’m down with a quick coffee with someone and then I need to leave. Spending an entire day at someone else’s home is just wrong.

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I am not a people person so I believe I understand where you are coming from. Too much irl people time wears me out fast. Besides most Skunks like their own company.

I like this forum bc the pressure to converse is quite low and no need to force a smile so others can feel good about themselves.

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I understand that.

Last Christmas I left in the middle of Christmas lunch because I felt so uncomfortable and just wanted to be home in my bed.

This year went better.

You should not feel bad.

They should try to understand you and have empathy for you I think.

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