I want to open about it. People honeslty ask why I read so much stuff about wars, why I comment on horrible articles on facebook. In news portals. Why I share my opinion and try to be altruistic, and help other people.
they feel amazed when I say I can spend hours on watching on youtube videos about prostitution, human trafficking and etc.
And hell I don’t know what to say.
I know I was in danger when I was a child. If I would met that men in reality (he was blackmailing me online, he invited me to meet in real life but I denied, even though I was 9 I was smart) I could be human trafficked.
Also, I overthink why I watch taboo videos, probably, because I care so much and I want to know why some people are so unlucky in life. How they feel.
People say stuff I do makes no sense. “You should more concentrate on yourself, your life, not on something what you cannot change”
But I can’t. 
I am even too much self-absorbed in my opinion.
I feel like my closest people circle don’t get me. Literally.
Maybe someone else feels the same? I mean, maybe people around you don’t understand you? no matter how hard you try to explain why you do what you do?