Schizophrenia.com

I feel lonely

I feel lonely because I feel like no one cares.

But that being said, people aren’t required to care about me. It is a want- something they do on their spare time.

I’m not supposed to share about my physical disability to anyone. It’s so different; I was told that raising awareness is a taboo thing. I mean, what’s so wrong about having a physical disability? I didn’t want to have this sh*tty disease. And if you tell anyone about sz/psychosis, they’re never going to be friends with you and rumours will spread. No one is going to like you.

I feel isolated, more than ever. But I think I deserve it because I’m different. I pretend that I’m not in pain nor in despair, but I feel like I’m dying because of my disease. When my dad is around, I’m supposed to keep a straight face and pretend that I’m not in pain. I don’t feel comfortable going to my grandmother’s house because my parents give me the look when I am about to say “I’m not feeling well.” So I stay in bed pretending to not be sick. People get tired of me because I’m in constant pain and people in my university look at me strangely as if I’m some sort of an alien because I use crutches. I’m honestly so scared to be in public because I’m scared of what people think of me, and I am well aware that people are staring at me. My mom tells me to not look at people who point at me in public or stare- they are just surprised to see people like me and they have no hard feelings.

I just want to hide in a corner and never come out of my room. People always look at me as if I’m a strange person and I feel extremely insecure. I just feel like people won’t care and don’t want to associate themselves with me because I am different and I am both mentally and physically ill. I just want to end my life so that my mom will be free from taking care of me and making me feel better. I feel like ■■■■ because I feel like I’m ruining people’s lives.

I just want to hide in a hole forever and I wish I was never born.

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I’m sure your parents love you in their own way.
I care about you a lot as well :heart:

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Maybe your moms right… they just don’t know you, that’s all. People make judgments all the time.

How about trying to have a conversation with the person that looks at you funny next time at your university? Perhaps maybe they want to chat with you rather than being critical of you.

I mean what would be the worst thing that could happen😶

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It would be totally awkward if I tried to talk to people who look at me funny on the streets. It happens mostly on the streets when I’m walking around with my mother.

My mom told me that she felt that people were looking at her with pity, with the kind of “oh my goodness, she must have an awful life as a mother of a disabled person!”

I’m so sick of it.

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I don’t like that your mother is making it all about her. She’s not the disabled one!

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hi,
I think that as you age you will accept who you are. You know that nobody is perfect. there are lots of people who have all kinds of disease. you just cannot see their pain in appearence.

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I care about you @laetitia. You are a very kind and caring person. I’m sorry you have to endure the stares of others, but don’t take it to heart too often. Please stay safe.

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Yeah maybe she’s being a bit self conscious… other hand nobody likes to be looked with pity. She could be just stressed because she doesn’t think she has an awful life at all and doesn’t want people to judge her either.

I see it as her trying to be sympathetic with you

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Hmm?.

It May Be True No One Is “required” To Care About You.

But!, It Is A Justified And Humane Way To Treat People, If You Treat Them With Respect.

Be It Mother, Father, Sibling Or Relative. Even Friends.

If You Have No Safe Place To Turn To. No One To Hear You Out. Remember Thus!, There Is Always, Always, Always Light At The End Of The Tunnel. I Know Thus To Be Absolutely Of Truth.

I’ve Lived In Some Very Dark Places. Especially Psychologically. But!, Always Had A Safe Sense Of Escape. For Me, It Was Music. For Your Times Of Isolation Search For Something Creative Perhaps.

Jus My Quick Two Cents After Reading The Beginning Of Your Important Share. . .

Hope, True Love, Honesty, Joy, And Eternal Peace!.

P.s. Spring Has Finally Arrived!. :slight_smile: Cheer Up!. Look At The Beautiful Birds Outside!.

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Hey guys, I just got home from harp practice. I will answer/reply to your replies as soon as I wake up.

Thanks guys for being here.

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You went to harp practice, that’s pretty impressive.

I’m sure you could go to some mental health club too, you’d make friends there.

I for instance don’t even feel comfortable going to the corner store. But I don’t care, I have my parents and my online friends. They’ll hold me over until I get better. And I am getting better.

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i understand that it makes you feel lonely but do know there are a lot of people who do care about you. I’m sure your parents care about you and we all care about you…
try not to let people get you down by staring at you…

In my country I think about 700 000 people have some kind of disability that in full or partially keeps them from working, and that’s not counting the elderly or retired. Only 5.7 million people in my country, so that means 1 in 8 of people here has a disability. So that pretty much makes it a normal state of affairs. I mean not many families are without members who has a disability.

Maybe when you start thinking like this it is easier to accept your situation and that very many people in the world more or less have it the same way you do.

Sure there are some people who points and looks(mostly kids who don’t know better), but most people are compassionate and understanding. Just think about all those people who don’t point or look.

Don’t let a few misguided people bring you down with their uncompassionate attitude.

You deserve to treat yourself better.

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I care about you and I’m sorry for your suffering. My husband has constant pain too, so I have an idea of how hard it is on you. Please don’t give up. Try to hang in there.

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I need a lot of alone time. I hope you have a safe place to protect yourself and build up your strength.

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Also every person with a objective mind knows that it might as well have been them who had a disability, and so most people have no problem with providing for others what they would hope/like should be provided for them under the same circumstances.

That’s not to say it’s effortless or not difficult to provide for someone. But you need to give yourself a break and try to be kind to yourself. There’s no doubt life is hard, and that’s why it’s important to try and find some positives in everyday life.

I really like your art, haven’t seen you post any lately, maybe you could make something to show us.

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