Something is integrated in my brains, that fights against my will - which makes it impossibe to get healed from schizophrenia. I can feel how a small part of my brain is separated from rest of the brain and has it’s own will.
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I think a certain amount of our psyches are invested in our delusions - our way of viewing the world when we are sick. When we get treatment we have to throw that away and say it was all a waste.
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I was just trying to explain this to someone the other day. The whole time I’m fighting with my own mind I’m suppose to be able to function and not come off as distant in situations. A little off topic but I find it funny when people try to tell me “how difficult I am to live with”…REALLY lol like I am not very much aware of that fact.
My mind seems sometimes to work against me, no matter what I’m doing, even if it’s something positive. I just say “That’s the SZ” and go on. It can be pretty bad sometimes. I just say “That’s the SZ” and proceed. I suggest you befriend your voices. You only make things worse by fighting against them. They are part of you too. “A house divided cannot stand.”