Schizophrenia.com

I feel like I'm going to hell in the end

This makes me so sad. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve always had a lingering suspicion that I might be going to hell when I die. I think a lot of people have that suspicion.

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The worst one?? With the fire?

I don’t know. I just know it would be bad.

I think it’s common for voices to try to convince us we’re going to hell. Don’t listen to them. They’re lying. Don’t let them depress you. You can be a good person and go to heaven

So you don’t think it includes burning? Because I’m afraid I’m going to that one.

I had visions. And if I’m going to be dictator I’m obviously going to hell. I’ve been set up by my boyfriend. Nobody believes me. Everyone thinks I’m just mentally ill. I feel so alone.

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It’s not true you’re not going to be a dictator I promise you. Those voices are lying to you over and over again until you’re just accepting it. Are you taking meds and getting some sleep?

Surely no truly benevolent God would condemn anyone to that. Burning alive for all eternity? Surely not. It would be the most sadistic thing imaginable to condemn anyone to that. I think there are bad people that need to pay for their crimes, but burning for eternity, no way.

There’s no voices really. I had some visions.

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Oh okay Do you want to speak about them?

I saw a North Korean army and I heard that they would kill me at age 47 with the lethal injection since I had a Cubs shirt with the number 47 on the bottom corner. The number 40 was when they would take me in at age 40. Then there was an Asian sitter watching me and I figured it was like the dictator and that I’d be sitting around. I didn’t like that. Then when I didn’t know what they would do with me I figured they would use me to officiate killings with my presence serving as verification to kill prisoners and other people. If I was responsible for this than I would go to hell.

You are not responsible for this I promise you it will never happen

Are you taking meds right now?

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Yes I am. They don’t help. I feel like I faked my mental illness early on and now everyone thinks I’m mentally ill when I’m not. That’s how I got involved in the mental health system in the first place. Otherwise, these visions would happen and I wouldn’t think I was mentally ill just experiencing visions that are real.

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Really maybe you can try a different one

Well, we all go to imaginary places when we die.

What do you think about me faking it?

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No but I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there before. I think you’re having delusions but you’re tired and can’t sleep enough to think clearly at this moment

the lake of fire is for the devil and the great harlot.