I feel like I’m disconnected from everything

I was DX’ed with Schizoaffective type Schizophrenia, and Depression since almost ten years ago, and I’ve been taking meds since then. I’m 41 years old now.

Since August of this year, I’ve been particularly paranoid and depressed, and that’s when a lot of the negative voices come into my existence again. It’s impossible for me to socialize with just about anyone outside my own family.

I don’t drive, and I had to accompany my mother to her heart doctor in a cab yesterday. I always dreaded going to that doctor’s office. Something about that place triggers negative emotions. In the office, the complete strangers in the waiting room had familiar faces and voices. That’s not the half of it.

Also, the worst part is I am worried for my mother’s health. I’m also afraid when I have to go when she goes for a stress test, and I was told it will take four hours! Four hours in the waiting room for me, I guess. It’s in early October. I also have to go to three more of her cardiology appointments and an appointment with her primary care provider. All on top of my appointments to see my health and psychiatric care providers.

I’m really on edge over this. I don’t like to be in a closed in space with a lot of strangers. I have anxiety and social phobia. My family doesn’t think my disorders are serious because to them physical illnesses>>>>mental illnesses in severity.

I just hope I can keep it together for my family. That doctor’s office gives off extremely negative vibes to me. :nauseated_face:


Good noise isolating headphones help a ton. I use Bose Quietcomfort 20s, but they are expensive, $250 USD thereabouts.

They are good enough at blocking speech that someone has to be yelling for me to hear what they are saying.

Could be time to talk about other medications. I’ve made some tough decisions over the years to get pills that work better for my function. You get that right life can be a lot easier.

I’m with you on clinics. I do poorly in waiting rooms and I’m always early. My psydoc is always late so I spend an hour waiting easy every time and it’s so bland and sterile. Even the music is sterile to me and drives me nuts…

So. Check in with your doc that your symptoms still are issues and try to get through that waiting room. I agree with @naturallycured headphones can be cool if you like your music or need a distraction!

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Sorry, but I doubt any stress test takes 4hours or any medical test for that matter unless it’s under a general anesthetic. :grimacing: Hope your mum doesn’t have a dodgy doctor!

Welcome to the Forum :grin:

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Thanks guys. I’ll keep that in mind.

Sorry. It’s a nuclear stress test, to clarify.

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