I feel left out many times

I do get like this once in a while. When I’m allowed to sit in my head too long. But I do partake in a mean little game in my head where I look at my Non-Sz cousin or brother who “has it all” and yet has nothing.

It’s hard to combat this feeling when it hits and I understand how much it hurts when it hits. Looking at the Non-Sz people who also have nothing, who also have no family, doesn’t help pull me out of my sad ocean.

But I do have to try and think about what is going right in my life. I know you said your brother is being better to you and your family… That is a plus. You’re getting out and seeing your therapist more. It’s a hard fight to get up and push off this grieving.

I hope you feel better and find something that works for you. Here’s looking forward to a better tomorrow.

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Thanks J for the well wishes, I am feeling better this morning. I know that most peoples lives get complicated, no one is perfect. I was speaking in general terms when I was using non sz people as an example. I see other laughing, being together, sharing and feeling joy and basically living fulfilled lives. It is more difficult for me to achieve these things, and yes I do blame sza and my circumstances

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@Wave I’m glad your feeling better today. Hope tomorrow is better still.

My euphoria and joy was many times Sz and XTC induced. I’m trying to relearn stuff like joy. Sometimes I have to ask… was that joy, or a flash back?

I don’t go for joy just yet. If I find it… I take it in. But I’m pretty happy with the flavor of contentment these days. Joy comes and goes so fast. It’s so tiny compared to content.

Content seems more of a full cake, when joy is just the tiny sprinkles. Even though I see them… I never really taste them.

The cake of contentment last longer then the sprinkles of joy… :cake:


Well on one hand they say, 'It’s better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all"
But how many people are stuck in bad marriages? And a lot of people wear a mask in public.You never know if they are really happy or just acting. They get home and the man may beat his wife and kids. You never know. You can’t tell everything from appearances.


This is so true Nick, when you think off it this way. We just dont know what happens behind their closed doors - true