I feel I want to explode but can't

DX'd - Other
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Negative symptoms make my energy unable to explode. They block my energy. I feel completely paralyzed and mentally disabled. I stay in bed all day everyday. I get angry at myself because of that.
I want to go back to university and study everyday like I did before my sz but I can’t.

I get thought blocking and working memory issues. I move my hand, forget if I moved it and move it again. I want to do something then I forget what I wanted to do sometimes its very simple and important things like taking my meds or going to my pdr apt. I am only 30 y.o. and have these issues. Never had these issues before my sz.

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I setup 2 alarms on 2 different cellphones I use so I don’t forget taking my meds and my pdr apt.

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I feel I have a severe mental handicap. My brain is useless.

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Celexa, which is an SSRI, helped me a lot with negative symptoms, including lack of motivation.

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Hopefully, things will get better.

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My pdr tried Wellbutrin an antidepressant but it didn’t work. He said I don’t have depression and wrote on my diagnosis sz with negative symptoms, apathy and avolition. He said Wellbutrin might work bcz it increases dopamine in the prefrontal cortex but it only made me more psychotic. There is nothing else he said and doesn’t want to try other antidepressants.

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Celexa increased my paranoia, but it and abilify worked wonders on my severe negative symptoms. I used to not feel emotions, but now I can laugh and smile. My doctor also prescribed it as a OCD medication, which has helped some.

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Abilify only slightly improved my negative symptoms but I had bad side effects from it like multiple addictions and compulsions, very dangerous side effects, I lost 100 000+$ because of Abilify. There is over 2600 active lawsuits against Abilify as of June 2019. It caused divorce for many because of hypersexuality and gambling, I lost my gf because of it.

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I had very similar side effects, so now I’ve switched to risperdal and now to Vraylar.

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I am on risperdal now because I don’t have any side effects from it. Vraylar is not available in Canada. Do you have less negative symptoms on Vraylar vs risperdal?

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TMG supplement try. Its more potent than DMG. It will help with extreme negative symptoms.

Phosphatidylserine soy version preferably from swanson brand try. It will help you to get your emotions for some period. Take it and have a lengthy nap of 1 hr and after waking wait for some hours and you will notice more emotions, happy feeling etc.

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I’m still on risperdal, but I’m also on Vraylar; I’m switching off of risperdal because of weight gain. So I haven’t noticed anything quite yet, except for weight loss.

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