Schizophrenia.com

I feel great

… damn it though… this ■■■■ still hasn’t stopped.

what are you talking about?

no clue… :zzz:

but you cant really feel great if something is bothering you.

that’s why I made this post… perplexing…

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i think you yourself said that its an “ebb and flow” i think this is really how life is. sometimes you feel lowest, other times youre at your best. but most times its a mixture of the two.

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I don’t know wether to say “glad you feel great” or “sorry you feel like that” so here’s to paradoxes.

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here’s what going on…

had a bad chat with a girl where I failed to make her laugh… she was having to rough a time… consider a personal failure of sorts… more data though moving forward…

so got bored… couldn’t sleep… wanked… good stuff

and… then I felt pretty relieved… sz kind of subsided… still only to its minimum… constant crap chattering at me…

found myself laughing a bit at the whole scenario… thought that was strange…

posted this… and with that vented… got really sad because at some point in there I started visualizing this girls character and her presence when she is about me… I know I’m going to see her, but there is going to be a ■■■■ load of time when I can’t…

that’s almost got me tearing up… which is strange… pretty irrational… kind of cool though… the feelings are pretty legit… hmmm

■■■■ all

the sz in the background the whole time… basically extreme fatigue setting in… still can’t sleep.

laying down is conscious suicide as the voices wreak havoc on me… and so… so it goes… awake… prodding at this dumb arrangement of letters with this confounded window of depressing text on this site… throwing my two cents in i guess…

@Minnii

sup minnikers

You don’t sound well at all.

welp I gotta keep typing cause I really can’t handle that crap of their words no more…

hells bells

had a friend named that once… drove some old car he had fixed up… cool guy… forget what his real name was

reminds me that I went to a party once… got kicked out for treating the keg like it was my own private beverage… ran around back and climbed over the fence to get back in… kicked out again…

black out wasted had to walk home… wasn’t to far in retrospect 1.7 miles… honestly don’t remember it anyways… it probably wasn’t even that far…

man. dont overdo it with these girls, they are also humans. sometimes they laugh sometimes they dont. you know sometimes somebody tells you a joke and youre just not in the mood to laugh at that kind of humor and move on. its not the fault of the joker, or whatever you call him, but the mood is just not there yet. whatever just dont try to satisfy everybody because you have to fullfil some needs. just be yourself.

I’m inclined to ask “have I ever?”

like I said I feel great… wish you could see it…

straightening out the ■■■■…

hmmm… innapropriate crap I shouldn’t mention…

god damn it…

I’m bored as hell

I was wondering what the phrase “hindsight bias” was all about… so I looked it up.

specifically the bias part… as typically that shows a disposition that is slanted by preference during discussion or what not… I get the hindsight part…

but the hindsight bias isn’t a form of bias someone holds… the bias belongs to the nature of hindsight itself…

that bias being… it all makes sense in retrospect…

yeah… I get that… thanks man

hahaha did i actually speak to you or just my intepretation of the sitation? did you feel any insights there? be honest, i dont care if you didnt.

Well I’m not going to say you should get back on meds fast because you’ll get mad at me. So … Oops already said it. Meds are great, they really help.

Get mad now. I dare you.

When I processed it earlier… the convo with her that is… I just considered it to be that she was in a bad state… sometimes in those states you don’t want to leave them… just feels like where you should be…

your addition to that was pretty complimentary… more of a general thing to remember in all cases…

its just funny because I’m realizing she’s the only person who matters… and that’s really ■■■■■■■ stupid… all the same… that’s what my mind is doing…

leads me to think about all the time I’m going to spend alone… moments of sadness in that… weird

:smile:

nevah!

schififteen scfifteen

you seem to be very attached to her. do you have alot of contact together?

in other news I finally purged the old name… which means the past is truly the past now… I’m free from that psychological garbled referencing of the original chick I fell in love with…

hopefully I can fall asleep in a minute here… I can’t uh take a trazadone as my dad will be coming into town here in 6 hours

well its this damn trip ahead of me… 20 days until I go see her…

went on a couple dates in december… then she went back to chicago… invited me but that fell through pretty quickly…

and uh… before that we had been talking on a irregular basis… hanging out when she was in town…

girls a complex… go figure… I certainly like her… i think I might even love her… but I don’t really even understand her…

she’s said a lot of ■■■■ that totally lines up with my view on things… which is very god damned rare

athiest/physicist/ criticizer of the common… mental illness on top of that…

a very odd combo… one I’ve watching for for a long god damned time…

and uh… she seems to like me (at least part of the time)…