It’s like this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Can’t seem to kick it. Slightly wishing I would move on from this life. Took .5mg lorazepam.
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Yes, I get that too, usually when I get worried about what my voices are saying and thinking about things that are delusional.
Do you still hear voices @Sardonic? And if so when did you find out that they were not real? How do they react now that you know they aren’t real
Did you have a med change recently? It can take a while to get used to dose increases etc.
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I started taking a small dose of an anti depressant. My problem is spiritual and it is very hard to describe. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
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Yes, I do sometimes, usually little things, insignificant comments pop in throughout the day.
When I was in the thick of it, people told me over and over that these voices were not supernatural companions, but products of my own mind, and of course, I didn’t believe them. Then, one day, someone on this forum told me to have them answer difficult math problems that I didn’t know off the top of my head, and they couldn’t do it. They’d give me answers, but the answers were never right, nor anywhere close to being right. It was then that I truly began to doubt.
The voices got angry, severely abusive, telling me how much blood would be on my hands if I didn’t commit the ultimate act. They tried to convince me to hurt people, kill people, especially my grandpa. I’d never felt that conflicted in my life. I ended up in the hospital as my impulses to follow my voices’ commands became nearly impossible to resist. Like, to the point of either going to the hospital right then, or ending up in prison within the week. There, I was stabilized on seroquel and haldol, and my life really turned around.
So yeah, my voices are pretty much in the background now. I have other hallucinations, but they’re not so bad either, just neutral. My mom and her friends kept telling me that I had to do the work if I wanted to feel better and that meds aren’t the main treatment, and honestly, if I had anxiety and/or a non psychotic mood disorder like most of the people she and her friends cited, they would’ve been right, but for better or worse, that’s not the case. My “hard work” didn’t do jack until I was medicinally stabilized.
I know for some sza’s, it’s different. Some of us have a mood disorder base with sz on top, while for others, such as myself, it’s the opposite. Sometimes, my pdoc doesn’t seem convinced that I have a mood disorder at all. I don’t know what your diagnosis is, but sometimes, working hard just doesn’t cut it. Meds are the only real treatment for schizophrenia. Therapy can help, of course, but my pdoc says that, unless you’ve got a therapist who specializes in psychotic disorders, it’s pointless at best, and dangerous at worst, because it’s difficult to have an hour long discussion with someone about their delusions without delusion confirming.
Anyway, if you have anymore questions for me, just @ me or shoot me a PM. I wish you well, @anon47167357! 
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