I feel Absolutely Terrible

No self esteem… On the 30th I have my plea hearing… I’ll have to register as a sex offender for the rest of my life… No one is on my side… Still can’t wrap my head around it.

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I’m sorry to hear you’re having so much trouble. It may not mean much to you coming from just some dude on the forum, but you seem like a good guy to me. :slight_smile:


Thanks. I really am a decent guy. I was manic when this happened and I just wish I could make it go away but I can’t.

I hear ya, I have bipolar-type schizoaffective, as well. I never broke the law while manic or hypomanic, other than drug stuff (never got caught), thank God, but I know how it is. The worst thing about mania/hypomania is the regret and embarrassment you feel after you come down, when you realize how you had acted and what you had become. I think it takes a person with bipolar or bipolar/sza to fully understand.

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I hope you get probation since it was a nonviolent crime. I’m bipolar too and I attacked a guy when I was manic and paranoid, Lucky for me no charges were filed.

Yikes. I know that you have said it before but that is rough. The worst stuff I did while manic was hit on a bunch of women who turned me down. Also the most recent one I tried to invent something. When I wasn’t manic anymore the idea seemed stupid so I quit.

When I get manic/hypomanic my sex drive goes way up and I have sex with strangers. I’ve even had sex in public. I just never got caught or got in any trouble before.

A lot of sex registrants are not the dangerous predators that we think they are.

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Dude, get a lawyer. If you have to sell everything you own, get legal representation. A good lawyer might get you a much better deal.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It sounds like, at this stage of the game, it is a matter of acceptance that you need to go through since you aren’t able to change it. At least I have gathered that from your other posts. I wish you the best in accepting the situation for what it is. My thoughts are with you.

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Please try not to feel too bad…
I’m a woman… And I once tried to get in bed with someone and start trying almost to masturbate because I thought she had asked me over to do that
Everything I have done similar was a mischievous hacking my boyfriend at the time for sex… The only reason I couldn’t rape him this because of the fact that I am less strong

Had I been a guy I would have been a multiple sex offender

Especially when you think they want it this is an impossible to resist psychosis
See whether they can also put on there that you were unwell at the time

I’m so sorry

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This is very interesting to me. I have never known of a woman being obsessed with sex or pushing people to get it. Clearly it happens, especially with psychosis. I have just never known a woman to have struggled with that issue. I am glad you’re doing better.

I think I thought I was initiating on his request or overall manipulation of me

I was not violent just persisted and wouldn’t take a no very easily

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Although I have also been violent separately with complying with command delusions

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What was the command delusion you were complying with?

it was to punch a nurse in the face (a few times in a row)

also to headbutt a patient but i mediated this one to attempting to get past the staff and kick him…

other commands involved doing stuff i was doing anyway like opening kitchen cupboards -

as a rule i unquestioningly comply

I also got very angry and smashed a coffee cup on a guys head due to anger when paranoid that he was laughing at me with someone else

he threw up a lot and had bad concussion

Do you still have command delusions? What do they tell you to do?

The only time I ever do anything strange is when the people controlling my brain literally make me do something strange like dance uncontrollably. It isn’t a command. It’s a literal loss of control in my behavior. That hasn’t happened in awhile, thank God.

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I’ve been mostly well for coming up to 11 years

Oh that’s wonderful! Congratulations on your stretch of wellness.

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