No matter how hard I try,I am always nervous around people.I hate people,I don’t enjoy interaction,and mostly my interaction is flight/fight.I am so afraid of getting hurt verbally/physically by people,and because I have been hurt,I never try or will hurt anyone.I failed and will always fail in life no matter what I do… 
I can’t find the enjoyment,energy to hurt someone for my own well-being/happiness.I feel guilty if I do that
Maybe try a drug like propranolol or a benzo occasionally before socializing. Then once your confidence is you won’t need it anymore.
I did not know propranolol was for anxiety. I thought it was for blood pressure or something
Yeah. If I’m anxious I may feel anxious. Propanolol can take away the feeling of being anxious. They often give it to performers so that they don’t feel anxious on stage.
Try positive affirmations, like, I will succeed in in life , I will treat people good even if they hurt me, I will be happy, I will be strong. Do that in the morning and thru out your day like a mantra and be grateful it could be worse.
Really? I need my pre-show anxiety/jitters, otherwise I have a bad show.
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