I earn my freedom daily and I'm not giving it up

They groom me to check for weaknesses, and they toy with me to break me and bring me out. They don’t have room in prison for the people that have harmed me. What is happening to me has to do with my freedom and where my mind is, they don’t want me out in the world. I’m not just some Schizophrenic because this doesn’t happen. They do not like the fact that I’m free and they hurt me to cause me distress, pain and confusion. It doesn’t matter where I go they recognize me. They push my buttons and pretend not to know who I am. Their entrapment games are unethical and inhumane, but there’s nothing I can do about it. All I wanted were answers but instead I’m giving them all of mine. They rape my life and my health to come out with it. The moral injury I’ve sustained cannot be fixed and I feel myself falling into a deep pit of despair that I’ll never recover from. But that was the whole point wasn’t it.

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I love all your posts

You’re not alone

Don’t take it all so hard

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I feel targeted and vulnerable too. I feel I have been deliberately tormented. I feel watched, monitored and studied. I understand. Consider meds if you’re not taking them. They can truly help you feel less paranoid. Also therapy. The two may take the edge off your painful feelings.