I don’t want to work. I’ve lost all motivation. I’ve been trying hard for the past 5 years towards this goal of getting a job, but maybe I’m too tired to go any further.
I live half on the dole and half on a disability pension. I need to earn at least 70,000yen a month(about 700 us dollars) to stop living on the dole. So I’ve been trying to get a part-tme job.
I’ve been going to this work training center 4 days per week, but I need to work at least for 4 hours a day, 5 days per week(If you want to get emplyed as the disabled here in Japan where I live, you need to work at least 20 hours per week. If you can work as a normal person without telling your emplyer that you have a mental illness, then this isn’t the case). But I’m already too tired. 4 days per week is too difficult for me. So I told the staff at the center that I can’t go on like this anymore. I’m not sure if they really understood.
Then, I took a month off, and I find myself not wanting to work.
I’ve lost the meaning of working.
I thought that if I get a job, I can be free, can move to a better place, etc.
But then I’m too tired to work 4 days per week. It’s like I live for work not work to live.
I would like a life with a job and at least some room for other things for fun. That’s all.
And I guess I need to take a lot of time to get there.
I have chronic fatigue and I can’t help it.
Am I asking too much?
Well you could consult a doctor about this.
also what is a/the dole?
Hmm yes maybe I could.
Dole = the money that the government gives to people who are unemployed
I see. I live on disability payments and some money my father gives me. I’ll be up for review in 2017 and my dad is going to stop paying me when I turn 28. I’ll also have to figure out how to afford car insurance and pay for my cell phone. It’s going to be a big transition. Especially if they take away disability.
With how things are going though I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to handle a job. I’m about to start looking for volunteer work, but I might give it another month. Got to prove to myself I can get through a shift. Also need to quit smoking so I don’t have that stressing me out all the time.
Enough about me. Living with the illness is a huge challenge, also just figuring out how to live in the world on top of that another huge and totally different challenge.
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If you are sure that you’ll be able to handle a job, why not get one now?
And one more qustion, have you ever been suffered from chronic fatigue due to sz?
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I feel more capable as time passes, but the jobs I’ve had in the last two years stressed me out and set me back. For now I’ve got my money sorted out and time is only going to make things easier.
It’s more about finding the right job instead of just finding a job. That takes a little more time.
I have unmotivated patches where I fall behind a bit. Not having a job its hard to really see the extent of that.
So you’ve had work experiences in recent years.
To me it’s more like trying to gain physical health to work.
If I had the physical health, I guess I could find one soon.
I’ve been umemplyed for over 10 years it’s hard to get back on track. Both menally and physically.
Ah that’s a long time. You got me thinking about all this. Kind of stressful to think about. Take a break if you can. Schedule an appt with a doc and just relax until then. You could start with volunteer work, it doesnt pay but it gives you recent work experience on applications and resumes.
Yeah it’s a really long time. Someone said “umemplyment is more stressful than emplyment” and I guess that’s true. I never thought about volunteer work, I always thought about a job that pays cos I’m on benefits and want to get out of that kind of life. But it could be a nice step to a proper job. I don’t know, I’ve recently decided to go to this knitting class once or twice a month, I need to first start making a hobby of mine fun and interesting, lol.
Being outside of the society for over 10 years, I’ve forget how to be in it
I’d try volunteer work it should be easier to get into. If you find the right places they might also have paid positions you can move into and work until you find a better job. That’s probably what I’ll be doing… just not yet.
I think that’s a good way to do it.
But I guess it’s hard to find the right one, if you want to move into a paid position.
I’d look on the internet. Even if its just to have something to say in interviews when they ask what you’ve been doing.
But if it’s only until you get a better one, then I guess it’s OK
I think its what you have to do in this position.
I’ll look on the Internet also. Or in local newspapers, Maybe some want ads on them.
But do most volunteer work want us mentally ill?
I think they’ll use all the help they can get in most cases so long as you can do the job.
I see. Are you gonna tell them that you have a mental illness or hide it from them?
Depends on where I apply. There might be something in the community that might help you find volunteer work. We have a mental health care facility that has programs for that kind of stuff.
I would probably disclose my illness at some point. I’d like to be upfront about it, but its a competitive world.
OK, I never thought about volunteer work, I guess it’s a pretty nice way to go back to the society, thanks so much 
Have you ever experienced any volunteer work? If so how was it?