Schizophrenia.com

I don't want to meet this guy


#1

I went to my cousins engagement do last week. A lady I met there wants me to meet her nephew. She had arranged it through my aunt. I agreed. He lives quite far away and his sister is near me.

But then I had second thoughts. One, because this lady wants me to meet him at his sisters house. I feel awkward doing that. I told the lady I will meet him outside somewhere but she said he won’t do that. I said I can meet him at mines (we’re a big family, I won’t be alone). But he won’t do that either.

The lady said she’d come and get me and drive me to his sisters house. I agreed to it but I was hesitant.

I’m a shy person. And two shy people won’t really work imo.

How do I get out of this mess? I don’t want to meet him next week and it sounds like he doesn’t want to meet me either.


#2

Just don’t pursue it. If there’s mutual disinterest, he will go away.


#3

Just say “no.” You can do it where it sounds like you’re not ready right now, or are busy. If someone is really interested in meeting you they should go the extra step and go either your place or outside like you want. You’re the one who was set up on this meeting by this lady, so it should be your call how you meet, IF you meet.


#4

If he doesn’t like to meet you in your family house, it’s OK cause he may feel uncomfortable among your family, but insisting on meeting in his aunt’s place is awkward, so insist on meeting somewhere outside and if he continues to insist about her aunt’s place, be sure that sth is wrong so don’t date this person.


#5

You know what, I think I’m going to tell them straight. Meet outside or not meet at all.


#6

Please remember that I have a deep and not always logical paranoia of kidnappers and to me this is red flag city. I’d say just don’t go. Call and say you have to do anything else then meet this guy.

I hope things go well for you.

Stay safe and have an exit strategy. Wear slacks and good shoes so you can run away if you have to. I’m serious… high heels are dangerous. Please don’t go alone.


#7

Don’t go. Just tell them you’re not comfortable with it and that it’s nothing to do with the guy himself to avoid hurting his feelings. It’s not your problem if he doesn’t want to meet outside, if he doesn’t want to meet at your house then you should in no way be forced to meet at his. You’re trying to meet him in the middle and he’s not having it.

Having your aunt be a little annoyed at you is better than forcing yourself to go through an experience that you don’t like.


#8

Just say no. I am wondering if you are like me. Are you afraid to say no, because it might make you look bad? Or if you say no, they might think you are not nice? That has gotten me into a couple messes.


#9

My aunt is a bit traditional she told my nan that if i look at everything then i will never get married. She thinks 29 is too old to be choosy now. But guess what? Id rather be choosy and single than to settle for someone i dont like. Being single and happy or even misrable is definately better than settling for someone i dont like and regretting it.


#10

I agree with you…


#11

LOL!! No way. I met my wife when I was 41.
No rush for sure.
Especially if someone else is pushing you into it. Rather, let a relationship happen between you and someone between the 2 of you. I never believed in that introduce you to someone who likes you, or arranged dates/marriage.

Yay, look what post I got…so it begins!!


#12

I think you should give it a try, maybe you will like him by the time goes by, and in regards to your shyness/anxiety, how about if you take low dose of anxiety pill like Ativan and go meet him, the difficult part is the first meeting… or you can ask him to go on Skype, you can talk to him for few days until you feel comfortable to meet him.


#13

I never said I would not meet him but just not at his sis home where his parents are…

well actually did but anyway lol i would meet him but not there… :slight_smile:


#14

I’m single and 29 too. Don’t worry you have plenty of time. A guy that is that pushy is a baby and you don’t want to date a baby. There’s even an R&B song about this kind of guy.


#15

lol really? i think we’re both a bit stubborn so it’s really not going to work if he refuses to meet me halfway.


#16

I have people I care about who look like they are uncomfortable, and I want to help. So I try to see what it is I can offer. But sometimes they look at me like, “Why did you say that?”

Jayster