Schizophrenia.com

I don't want to be a burden anymore (tw)

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#1

I want to die so that I could stop burdening people with my physical illness. I don’t want my family to suffer anymore.

I turned my brother away from helping saying that I felt uncomfortable when he helps me.

I asked my mom to stop massaging me and told her that I could massage myself, even though my shoulders are on fire from using the crutches.

I didn’t ask my dad for help because I knew he is tired.

I am not even sure if I will ever get better. I’m actually not very hopeful. I want my family to be spared from taking care of me.

I’m so tired and I want my family to live freely.

1 Like
#2

What’s your illness?

#3

Not sure yet, I just got tested for hereditary spastic paraplegia. Results come back in 3 months. But right now I have an unspecified neuromuscular disease. Basically my muscles just don’t work.

#4

Ah.

You might be in a state of ongoing acidosis. That’s a big cause of chronic muscle fatigue.

How is your diet?

#5

My diet is well balanced. I eat well.

1 Like
#6

Do you get enough potassium? Vast majority don’t. That’s a big factor in body alkalization.

Someone needs literally 12 bananas a day to hit the RDI of that. No one even gets close usually.

I need a potassium citrate supplement every day otherwise I get cramps.

#7

I take multivitamins. My doctor thinks that it’s important, and it increases my energy. A win-win for my body and my illness.

3 Likes
#8

Multis have nil potassium.

RDI is 4.7 grams.

#9

I have given my family plenty of opportunity to abandon me over the years, but they stuck around.

That’s 33 years worth of thing after thing going horribly wrong, and they still stay

Think about how old you are now, and how long and what you and your family have gone through to get to this stage, and ask yourself, if they saw you as a burden, wouldn’t you have been shunned by now?

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#10

You are right. I guess I’m just sad and worried that my family is going to suffer. I love them so much.

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#11

And that’s why you love each other. It’s about being there for your loved ones to make sure they’re ok. Health problems are a really hard thing to deal with, and I can’t imagine your challenges with both physical and mental illness together.

My advice to you is to just give back what you can, and take the help you need.

I understand your headspace when you make these posts, but there is a way out of this that you need to find. I don’t have the answers for your personal situation, but they can be worked out.

2 Likes
#12

i’m sure they don’t see you as a burden… i thought that a lot too and every time i say it my mum says i’m not a burden.

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#13

Im so sorry you’re going through this. Can you buy a massager that you can operate yourself? That might help. Also, if your brother wants to help and offers help then he doesn’t feel like you’re being a burden and it’s ok to get a little help from him. Try not to push away those who care about you most.

#14

I am praying for you. This is the only thing that has given me hope and peace in suffering from this illness.

Like you I’ve dealt with you so much because of this. Ive been a burden to so many. I’ve lost jobs, relationships, some of every thing.

There is strength and power in having faith. Please don’t give up. It may not seem like it sometimes but there is a love and force that is with you and behind you every step of the way.

#15

Who else will take care of you if not for your family?

#16

Please stick around @laetitia
I’m sure your family loves you.

#17

You shouldn’t think of yourself that way. You are a child of God and a valuable human being. If there were someone you cherished, would you want them to give up on life, because they felt they were a burden? Someone cherishes you and you should treat yourself, the way you would want someone you care about, treated.

1 Like
#18

Thank you, I’ll try to give back as much as I can.

#19

@Wave @Pianogal @naturallycured @Brendalyn @FadeToBlack @chronological
Thank you for your help. I opened up to my mom about my feelings and she said she will be very sad if I died. I’ll try to stay strong.

5 Likes
#20

I’m so glad you did. You are loved. You’re worthy of life and love