I’m having an “I don’t wanna” day.
I don’t wanna clean up the apartment. I don’t wanna cook dinner. I don’t wanna do anything.
I didn’t even wanna put on clothes, but I’m feeling sick and felt a draft.
I’m trying to push through. I’m in the process of making some sort of makeshift risotto hoping it will sitmulate my appetite or at leaste pique my interest. I can always cool it and micro it later if I get hungry.
Perhaps I should have some liquid motivation, also known as coffee
Yeah, coffee might pep you up. It could be the depression you were asking about in another post. Sounds like you’re falling into a clinical depression. You should see someone about it. Do you have a pdoc there?
I have one, but I don’t see her often because she costs 70 Euros.
Last time I did antidepressants, I got some that send me into psychosis. Previous ones have made me manic, so I wary of going that route.
Lithium is a common mood stabilizer but there are many others. Latuda is an antipsychotic that is approved as a mood stabilizer for bipolar. I’m not sure what meds would be best for you, but I’d definitely ask your pdoc about a mood stabilizer for you if you have thoughts of suicide even if there’s no actual plan
Well, there are plenty of mood stabilizers out there to try. If your dr agrees you need one (be honest about the suicidal ideation with them) don’t give up if some of them don’t work for you. Keep trying until you get the relief you need. There’s no reason to suffer like this. You deserve to be happy
That’s the odd thing though. I’m generally not unhappy. I’m not thrilled either, but I’m mostly content. I just have the urge to off myself often, kind of like a recovering alcoholic often has the urge to hit the bottle
I still think you need to tell this to your pdoc. Follow their advice. It’s really important because left unchecked it could get a lot worse. They may decide you don’t need treatment. They may decide you do. I don’t know the answer because I’m not a pdoc. But I do know they can’t treat you if they don’t know the whole story
When I had a don’t wanna day, a friend asked me “Can’t you just make yourself do it?” and my answer used to be “No.” But I’m better about that now. I can get things done at least in some ways. I don’t let myself down quite as much as I used to.