I don't know what to do

My family keeps yelling at me to go out of the house go to the gym and eat much less, eating a bit once per day. I can’t get out of bed on Risperdal and it increases my appetite. Also eating is my only pleasure that I can experience now and I am always bored. I tell them I will go on Abilify but they won’t let me due to addiction side effects.

They say sz is not an excuse to be lazy and be in bed. I am seriously thinking of drugging them with my Risperdal like they did to me in the past, its fair.
I was working full time on Abilify, going almost daily for 2h to the gym and still had less money than now due to shopping addiction side effect.

I think Abilify might be worth it as the addiction side effects gradually got worse after a year or two. They were only dangerous after 8 years. Its only after that time that I emptied my bank account and had debts.
But my family said they won’t help me and pay my debts if it happens again.

They drugged me by putting meds in my drinks and food after crushing the Zyprexa or Abilify pills I don’t remember.

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Dude that’s messed up

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They did it because I was refusing meds.

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Sounds like they were desperate

I would forgive their bad actions, as I am sure their intentions were good.

They were just trying to help I think.

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Please don’t drug them. You’d go to jail for that. Keep taking baby steps. You did the stationary bike for 5 minutes successfully. So try to do 5 minutes every day. Also, sitting outside in fresh air for a few minutes a day may help too

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I want them to know what the meds are doing to me staying in bed all day everyday. They say I am lazy but I was working and studying in university before my sz.

They laughed at me saying its like if I did nothing. They want me to do much more which I can’t.

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Sounds like certain members of my family and extended family as well.

Nothing is enough.

The only advice I can say, is that I second pianogal- “Baby steps” is the way to go.

I told myself the same thing three years ago after I left the hospital. I didn’t want to be disabled or miss out of life offers, so I took walks.

I’d ask the brothers if they wanted to walk, and I think they could see it meant a lot to me to be able to go on a walk, so they conceded.

I am absolutely certain when they see you are giving a consistent fight; they will definitely be less and less stigmatic?

Sometimes, you have to bark and fight at the same time. Simply saying “I cannot because negative symptoms do this” might not work with some people. They actually have to see you physically drained and suffering - this is what it was like for me when I first started working after hospitalisation.

I don’t know why. But I was very desperate and also very scared of the idea of being bed bound

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Just keep at it. Don’t let them get you down. You know you did well by doing as much as you could.

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They won’t, they won’t let me hangout with them and their friends even at home. In the summer sometimes my parents ask me to walk with them but I feel like a baby and at the same time I have no energy to walk.

They won’t let me hangout with them and their friends even at home.

They aren’t being nice. They are not only stigmatising by some of what I have read but they’re also unaccommodating. I’m sorry it’s like that.

Sz is a disease that requires a certain level of social support from what I’ve understood of it.

But exercise (within reason) is exercise and I would use the vape and your music to chill in the backyard and then afterwards walk around the block.

Do it when you feel you can, I always listened to my body (except for when I started the restaurant waiting job), I’d go out at random times, but I’d only do it when I felt confident.

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Before sz they used to beg me to hangout with me and my friends.

My mother used to tell them to hangout with me because I had better friends than them.

Aziz, bro, don’t think about the past too often. It’s good to do “reflective thinking” if you are trying to find a solution or come to an understanding of something.

But don’t dwell on it,

Instead plan future stuff, it doesn’t matter how many times it feels like the world isn’t changing g, you are still changing. Resilience to cope with psychotic illness is a real thing

Are you able to read books?

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No I can’t since being on meds.

The meds are handicapping me, I need to stop them.

Yeah, this illness has wrecked things for you, but that is more reason to pretend it hasn’t and get yourself back to a more functional level

You are able to game a little, you are able to enjoy music a little - so there are positives in your life , even if they are tiny compared (but it was th same for me. Music, walks and cigarettes at first)

Like pianogal said: “Easy steps”, as long as you take baby steps - your body will relearn coping

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Nah nah nah, that’s not it.

You need to control them, I know it doesn’t make sense, but you need to figure out how to control them

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